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Band 4

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on sustainable living and reducing enviromental impact.

#societies #emphasis #impact
In many communities ,
people
now days
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
 pay
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big attention to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their lifestyles and trying to decrease the environmental impact. Throw
this
 journey they
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 a lot of challenges that may affect their goals and
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ways to keep
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 emphasis on sustainable living. In my opinion when you realize the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sustainable living and how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental changes can affect your
life
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
that’s
Unnecessary verb
that
show examples
 you start
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 healthy mentality. The awareness of the societies to improve their quality of
life
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 to
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 day by day because they
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 a miserable
life
 with a lot of bad habits that affect their mental, physical emotional health. Unfortunately,
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 there is a lot of
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
 that
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adopting a sustainable lifestyle. First the addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social media and
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
especially with the new generations.
Moreover
, now we show
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant
reducing
Replace the word
reduction
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
 conversation and that
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 communication and gathering .
People
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 there are living a sedentary
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
 because of all these
distraction
Change the determiner
distractions
show examples
.
Moreover
, the
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of healthy
restaurant
Change to a plural noun
restaurants
show examples
 and
change with
Verb problem
a
show examples
 variety of unhealthy options . To reduce
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 bad habits and gain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sustainability we have to encourage
our self
Correct your spelling
ourselves
show examples
 and
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 around us
always
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Additionally
, there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a multiple practical actions
people
 can do to contribute to sustainability.
Healthy
Add an article
A healthy
show examples
 diet and
exercising
Change the form of the verb
exercise
show examples
 have a good impact on our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Nevertheless
,
join
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meditation and therapy classes can help you to keep focusing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
, In conclusion,
people
 are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
life’s
Change noun form
life
show examples
 but they have to do
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 best and good effort to keep up
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 mentality .
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure ideas are organised logically. Each paragraph should flow smoothly and connect with the previous one.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve grammatical accuracy and reduce informal language use.
Task Achievement
Elaborate on points with relevant examples to reinforce arguments.
Task Achievement
Expand on ideas to make them clearer and more comprehensive.
Grammatical Accuracy
Proofread for typos and small grammatical errors.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a personal opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Attempts to identify and discuss challenges to sustainable living, which is relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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