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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows information about the kinds of food that teenagers in Australia enjoyed eating. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows information about the kinds of food that teenagers in Australia enjoyed eating. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the changing preferences of
teenagers
Use synonyms
 in Australia for different types of food from 1975 to 2000. The three types of food examined are
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
Chips
Use synonyms
,
Pizza
Use synonyms
, and
Hamburgers
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
,
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
Chips
Use synonyms
 were highly popular, with
consumption
Use synonyms
 peaking at 100
million
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 per year. From 1980, there was a gradual decline in its
popularity
Use synonyms
, dropping to just over 80
million
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 there was a brief increase in 1984, the trend continued to fall sharply in the subsequent years. By 2000, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
Chips
Use synonyms
 had decreased to 40
million
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 per year. In 1975,
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 were not very popular among
teenagers
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, their
popularity
Use synonyms
 increased significantly over the years.By 1988, hamburger
consumption
Use synonyms
 had surpassed that of
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
Chips
Use synonyms
, reaching nearly 90
million
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
.The rise continued, and by 1995, hamburger
consumption
Use synonyms
 reached 100
million
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
, which it maintained until 2000.
Pizza
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 gained
popularity
Use synonyms
 among
teenagers
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 it started from a lower base compared to
Hamburgers
Use synonyms
.
Pizza
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 began to rise and exceeded that of
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
Chips
Use synonyms
 in 1992. Despite its growing
popularity
Use synonyms
,
pizza
Use synonyms
 never reached the 100
million
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 mark, peaking at just over 80
million
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 in 1995, with stable figures
thereafter
Linking Words
. Throughout the years 1975 to 2000,
Hamburgers
Use synonyms
 emerged as the most enjoyed food among
teenagers
Use synonyms
 in Australia, showing a substantial and consistent increase in
popularity
Use synonyms
.
Pizza
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 saw a rise in preference but did not surpass
Hamburgers
Use synonyms
 or reach the highest
consumption
Use synonyms
 levels.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
Chips
Use synonyms
, which
initially
Linking Words
 enjoyed high
popularity
Use synonyms
, experienced a significant decline.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, although, initially".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words teenagers, fish, chips, pizza, hamburgers, consumption, million, meals, popularity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • preference
  • frequency
  • trend
  • popularity
  • notably
  • anomaly
  • dominant
  • contrast
  • exhibit
  • proportion
  • category
  • significant
  • rate
  • margin
  • predominant
  • marginally
  • substantial
  • consistent
  • overall
  • variety
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