You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

There is no denying the fact that
appearance
is most important to both genders.
While
it is a commonly held belief that some
company’s
Change the noun form
companies
company
show examples
believe that their employees should dress appropriately, there is
also
an argument that others
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
think the quality of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
is more valuable than
appearance
.
This
essay will analyse
this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, it is crucial to show
neat
Replace the word
neatness
show examples
and elegant in your
work
,
as well as
your look
reflect
Change the verb form
reflects
show examples
your personality.
In other words
, plenty of organisations
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
care about your
appearance
especially when you
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clients and important people.
In addition
, there are many institutions
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
strict regulations
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
appearance
and they determine
how
Correct word choice
what
show examples
you wearing depends on your schedule.
For example
, if you are going to
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
a new job , first they will notice
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your
appearance
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
resume.
On the other hand
,
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
company they
Replace the word
companies
show examples
care more about the quality of your
work
. It is
also
possible to say that your efforts and passion are essential rather
Correct word choice
than
show examples
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
how
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
look
show examples
looks
Correct subject-verb agreement
look
show examples
or
your
Correct pronoun usage
what you
show examples
Replace the word
wear
show examples
wearing
Replace the word
wear
show examples
.
Moreover
, with new developments and rapid growth , they are concentrated on
qualities
Fix the agreement mistake
quality
show examples
tasks and skills.
For instance
, plenty of organisations have in their contracts
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
about employees
such
as,
evaluate
Wrong verb form
evaluating
show examples
your
work
and how to handle these tasks. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that
appearance
and value quality of
work
are significant factors for every
organisations
Change to a singular noun
organisation
show examples
.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay is well-structured by dividing it into clear, distinct paragraphs (introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion). This will improve readability.
task achievement
Work on expanding your range of vocabulary and making sure the grammar and sentence structure are varied to enhance your ideas.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and details to support your arguments, as this will add depth to your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the topic, which shows a fair approach to the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion, creating a good structure for the essay.

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