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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the charts below show what UK garduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2018

the charts below show what UK garduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2018
#show #uk #garduate #students #work #college
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The bar graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the graduate and postgraduate
students
 employment in the UK in 2008.
Overall
, the charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 tendency distribution between the UK graduate and postgraduate
students
: the most
part
 of
students
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
 continued
further
 education and the smallest
part
 was engaged volunteer work. Over the whole time period,
highest
Add an article
the highest
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 number of graduates prefer to
further
 studies compared to
hose
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
 who want to do
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 job with differences of about 1500 graduates, 29665 and 17735 respectively.
Additionally
,
5
Correct article usage
a 5
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times
biggest
Replace the word
bigger
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 number of
students
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
 to be unemployed than
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 any voluntary work with 16235 and 3500 respectively.
Loking
Correct your spelling
Looking
speciafically
Correct your spelling
specifically
, postgraduates who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to
further
 study and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 are almost equal with 2725 and 2535 respectively. Of these, only 345 postgraduates participated in voluntary work and 1625
students
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
 to stay unemployed
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, part with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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