the charts below show what UK garduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2018

the charts below show what UK garduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2018
The bar graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
the graduate and postgraduate
students
employment in the UK in 2008.
Overall
, the charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
tendency distribution between the UK graduate and postgraduate
students
: the most
part
of
students
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
continued
further
education and the smallest
part
was engaged volunteer work. Over the whole time period,
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
number of graduates prefer to
further
studies compared to
hose
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
who want to do
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
job with differences of about 1500 graduates, 29665 and 17735 respectively.
Additionally
,
5
Correct article usage
a 5
show examples
times
biggest
Replace the word
bigger
show examples
number of
students
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
to be unemployed than
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
any voluntary work with 16235 and 3500 respectively.
Loking
Correct your spelling
Looking
speciafically
Correct your spelling
specifically
, postgraduates who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to
further
study and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
are almost equal with 2725 and 2535 respectively. Of these, only 345 postgraduates participated in voluntary work and 1625
students
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
to stay unemployed
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, part with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: