Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adults life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion?

While
some individuals have different views that young people have the most
happiness
time
in their
life
.
However
, some argue that adult
life
has got most
happiness
,
although
there are lots of obligations in
this
period. I believe that teenagers definitely have more enjoyment
time
. There are various reasons why people believe that adult has
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
happiness
.
Firstly
, they may assert that when you are between the ages 18 to 30 you are more independent than before and
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
can do
lots of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
various things unassisted.
For example
, getting
Correct article usage
a driver
show examples
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
license and,
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
show examples
your own car without any permission and
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
your ideal partner. Another reason for their
happiness
is that they are financially independent and spend their money in a way they want which can contribute to a sense of fulfilment all of these make them feel ecstatic. In spite of these arguments, I believe that teenagers experience the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
happiest
time
in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In my opinion, teenagers typically have fewer obligations they will not have these worries
such
as going to work, maintaining a household, worrying about their budget and paying the bills . They definitely have limited duties
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
one of the most important is going to school every day.
As a result
, adolescents should have lots of
time
to do various things
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
allowing them to enjoy more leisure
time
and explore their interests. In conclusion,
although
it might seem sensible that adulthood brings greater
happiness
. I personally believe that adolescence
constitute
Change the verb form
constitutes
show examples
the most joyous period in their
life
.
Submitted by fa.soleiman on

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grammar
Be careful with sentence structure and grammar. For instance, 'young people have the most happiness time in their life' should be 'young people have the happiest time of their life.'
examples
Try to provide more detailed and vivid examples to make your arguments stronger. For example, instead of vaguely mentioning financial independence, describe specific ways adults enjoy this aspect of their lives.
clarity
Clarify your points and avoid repetition. For example, the argument about teenagers having fewer obligations could be more concise and focused.
structure
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps with readability.
task
Your essay addresses both views on the topic, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your position in a clear and concise manner.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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