Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adults life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion?

#people #years #time #lives #adults #life #happiness #inspite #responsibilities

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While

some individuals have different views that young people have the most

happiness

time

in their

life

However

, some argue that adult

life

has got most

happiness

although

there are lots of obligations in

this

period. I believe that teenagers definitely have more enjoyment

time

. There are various reasons why people believe that adult has

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

happiness

Firstly

, they may assert that when you are between the ages 18 to 30 you are more independent than before and

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

can do

lots of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

various things unassisted.

For example

, getting

Correct article usage

a driver

show examples

driver

Change noun form

driver's

show examples

license and,

drive

Wrong verb form

driving

show examples

your own car without any permission and

choose

Wrong verb form

choosing

show examples

your ideal partner. Another reason for their

happiness

is that they are financially independent and spend their money in a way they want which can contribute to a sense of fulfilment all of these make them feel ecstatic. In spite of these arguments, I believe that teenagers experience the

most

Change the adjective

apply

show examples

happiest

time

in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. In my opinion, teenagers typically have fewer obligations they will not have these worries

such

as going to work, maintaining a household, worrying about their budget and paying the bills . They definitely have limited duties

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

one of the most important is going to school every day.

As a result

, adolescents should have lots of

time

to do various things

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

allowing them to enjoy more leisure

time

and explore their interests. In conclusion,

although

it might seem sensible that adulthood brings greater

happiness

. I personally believe that adolescence

constitute

Change the verb form

constitutes

show examples

the most joyous period in their

life

Submitted by fa.soleiman on Sun Sep 15 2024

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grammar

Be careful with sentence structure and grammar. For instance, 'young people have the most happiness time in their life' should be 'young people have the happiest time of their life.'

examples

Try to provide more detailed and vivid examples to make your arguments stronger. For example, instead of vaguely mentioning financial independence, describe specific ways adults enjoy this aspect of their lives.

clarity

Clarify your points and avoid repetition. For example, the argument about teenagers having fewer obligations could be more concise and focused.

structure

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps with readability.

task

Your essay addresses both views on the topic, which demonstrates a balanced approach.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your position in a clear and concise manner.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adults life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don’t want to do, or don't have time to do, for example household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things for themselves?

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

In some countries, many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.