IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #foods #customers #goods
In
this
 globalized era, the
usage
 of
plastic
 is booming day by day which caused numerous
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
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 the environment. It is argued by some folks that industries should control the
usage
 of
plastic
whereas
, some individuals contend that it should
stopped
Change the verb form
be stopped
show examples
 by consumers. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both opinions
along with
 suitable examples.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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production companies play a vital role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
usage
 of
plastic
. Most of the
manufactueres
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
manufactures
 use
plastic
 for the packaging because it is
cheap
Add an article
a cheap
the cheap
show examples
 source which
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 the benefit to businessmen.
Nevertheless
, in many regions government banned the
usage
 of
plastic
 in factories which automatically decreased the production of
plastic
 packaging.
For example
, A survey conducted by Time
New
Fix the agreement mistake
News
show examples
 of India
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
indicated in India legal bodies banned the
usage
 of
plastic
 in some main cities like Mumbai and Delhi which dropped 50% of
plastic
usage
. On the
controry
Correct your spelling
contrary
, It is
also
 crucial that local citizen should reduce the
usage
 of
plastic
 in their daily routine. It is
Correct article usage
a clearly
show examples
clearly
Change the adverb
clear
show examples
 indication if people
banned
Wrong verb form
ban
show examples
 the
usage
 of
plastic
 and
don't
Wrong verb form
didn't
show examples
 buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic
 packing products,
then
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 drop significantly. In
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
 article
wrote
Change the form of the verb
written
show examples
 by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Toronto in which they described in Italy one rural area local people banned
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic
 packaging
then
 in one year the
usage
 of
plastic
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased by 70%. In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, there is no doubt
plastic
 plays
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important role to
distrub
Correct your spelling
disturb
 the
eco system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
show examples
 of the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Therefore
, it
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 duty of every citizen, government and
manufactures
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
show examples
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
 should stop the
usage
 of
plastic
 packaging to protect the beautiful environment for upcoming generations.
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Enhance the use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar accuracy to ensure clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.
task achievement
Expand on the points made in each paragraph with more in-depth analysis and supporting details to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Polish the introduction and conclusion so that they clearly outline and summarize the main points of the essay. Avoid redundancy and ensure a clear, concise message.
task achievement
Provided relevant and specific examples to support the arguments, which adds credibility to the essay.
task achievement
Addressed both sides of the argument clearly, ensuring a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • supply chain
  • sustainable packaging alternatives
  • industry standards
  • consumer behavior
  • informed purchasing decisions
  • market pressure
  • environmental impact
  • conscientious shopping habits
  • financial resources
  • research and development
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