Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Under the circumstance of
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
protection, people become more and more conscious about the threats of overpackaging. Some voices believe that it is the
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
that should take responsibility to control the situation,
while
others think the
customers
should make some change in buying goods with less packaging. For me, I think the producers play a vital role in reducing the use of overpackaging
products
.
First,
the
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
have sufficient financial resources to conduct investigations and research in developing sustainable packaging production. It is easier for them to apply
enviromentalfriendly
Replace the word
environmentally friendly
show examples
materials into packaging goods rather than urge
customers
to avoid using the
products
they want.
Second,
the retailers have better control over the whole supply chain, which means they are more likely to make strategic changes to reduce overusing the packages.
However
, the power of buyers is limited.
Third,
by reducing the use of packaging, the producers will make influences on the standards of the whole industry and
customers
'
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
For example
, by reducing the use of plastic
products
, many supermarkets stop providing plastic bags for free, which means
customers
have to pay for their packaging. That will lead to a good outcome:
customers
have to bring a recycle bag with them to avoid paying extra
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
for plastic
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, both the manufacturers and the
customers
should make efforts to reduce
overpackaging
Correct article usage
the overpackaging
show examples
products
Change preposition
of products
show examples
. But the manufacturers should spend more time and spirits, for the reason that they will make more impact than individuals.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Ensure that all points are fully elaborated with clear examples or explanations. For instance, provide specific instances of companies successfully implementing sustainable packaging to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
There are minor language errors, such as 'enviromentalfriendly' which should be 'environmentally friendly' and 'spirits' which should be 'efforts.' These do not drastically affect comprehension but should be corrected for higher accuracy.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and clearly states the writer's opinion, maintaining relevance to the topic throughout.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs are smooth, aiding in the cohesion and coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • supply chain
  • sustainable packaging alternatives
  • industry standards
  • consumer behavior
  • informed purchasing decisions
  • market pressure
  • environmental impact
  • conscientious shopping habits
  • financial resources
  • research and development
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