Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?
Government funding is the most crucial decision for any
goverment
or municipal authority.
Investing either in public or commercial sectors Correct your spelling
government
such
as arts
,music and theatre
or many more is the hardest decision for the government authorities as some people
will think that it just
a waste of money to invest in music, Add a missing verb
is just
arts
and theatre
. It is best to invest in public services
rather than commercial activities. My views are in the middle of this
statement as I highly believe that to invest
in public Change the verb form
investing
services
is important but to invest
in commercial things Change the verb form
investing
as
important as public Add a missing verb
is as
services
.
To invest in public services
is very imoprtant
for the Correct your spelling
important
governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
is
because it helps the local Unnecessary verb
apply
people
to get easy excess
to some of certain things. Funding Correct your spelling
access
in
government Change preposition
for
hospital
, national highways, bridges and many more Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
are
very important for any Correct subject-verb agreement
is
city
development and for the local Change noun form
city's
people
. For
example
if the locals will have an easy Add a comma
example,
excess
to the hospital with the best facility they wouldn't have to go to other metro Replace the word
access
city
or states for the treatment. So, I highly believe to fund in public Fix the agreement mistake
cities
services
is important
Correct article usage
an important
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
for
any Change preposition
of
governemnt
.
Correct your spelling
government
Secondly
, to invest
in commercial activities Change the verb form
investing
such
as arts
, crafts and theatre
is as important as public services
. Why is it necessary is because arts
and crafts have always been very
Correct article usage
a very
imoptant
part of developing any cities since our ancient era as our kings and queens were Correct your spelling
important
use
to Wrong verb form
used
gave
importance to it. It is something Wrong verb form
giving
people
can focus on outside of their busy lifestyle and can also
work as therapy for many people
. For example
, London has always been a
best Change the article
the
city
to set an examples
for Correct the article-noun agreement
example
people
not only showing
their Change preposition
by showing
arts
but Fix the agreement mistake
art
also
their acting skills in theatre
it brings a lot of benefits to city
, first is tourism which will bring income for the Add an article
the city
a city
governemnt
and second is work opportunities for locals which will directly generate income for them.
In conclusion, it is clearly stated Correct your spelling
government
that
why it is Correct word choice
apply
imoptant
to invest in public Correct your spelling
important
as well as
in arts
, music and theatre
. Public services
and commercial services
both are very important. In above
Add an article
the above
an above
essay
I have input my ideas Add a comma
essay,
that
why my point is in the middle and how both of them have Change preposition
on
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
owns
positive impact Wrong verb form
own
for
the locals.Change preposition
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs. Separate the introduction, each main point, and the conclusion to improve readability.
task achievement
Work on improving your grammar and spelling, as there are several mistakes that affect the clarity of your arguments. Pay attention to word choice and sentence structure for better coherence.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view, acknowledging the importance of both public services and the arts, which shows a fair and thoughtful approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing the balanced stance you took in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.