It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it’s sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both ideas by giving your opinion.
, some believe that music and sports can be taught. I personally believe that sports and music can be taught to someone who does not have
those talent
Change the determiner
that talent
those talents
show examples
by
Change preposition
at
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born.
This
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
will discuss both ideas and provide personal
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance. However, it needs further elaboration. Explain briefly why you believe that sports and music can be taught to set the stage for your arguments.
task achievement
While you do present both sides of the argument, expanding on each point with specific examples and deeper analysis will strengthen your essay. Consider discussing scientific studies or anecdotal evidence to add depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear conclusion. A strong conclusion not only summarizes the main points but also reinforces your stance. Make sure to restate your opinion and summarize your key arguments to provide closure.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., 'inate' should be 'innate', 'eassy' should be 'essay'). These need to be corrected to improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Logical connectors (e.g., 'However', 'On the other hand') should be used more effectively to ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs. This helps improve the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
You display a clear understanding of the topic and present a balanced view of both arguments, which addresses the task effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your opinion, which provides a clear direction for the essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Nowadays many people think that dancing is important subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. I think dancing is most important for student if they interested this subject .
Few people believe in living a monotonous life and avoid incorporating current trends in their community. In this essay I will discuss the reasons behind this situation and explain the positive impacts of change.
Some individuals believe that printed books or newspapers will not be sold in the future, since people could read online for free. I disagree with this idea to a large extent.
Nowadays, in some countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing. This essay will discuss why this has occurred and examine the consequences of this trend.
Globalisation has caused major changes in our world in many ways. The largest of these is how we make business and this has had a large impact in many countries. For some this has been mostly positive. However, I believe there are two sides to the changes.
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