In the future the main reason for going to the shopping malls will be for entertainment, not to shop because of e-commerce. Do you agree or disagree
In the
future
the main reason for going to the shopping Add a comma
future,
malls
will be for entertainment
, not to shop
because of e-commerce. Do you agree or disagree
More and more people
these days shopping online. However
, in some countries
there are increasing numbers of Add a comma
countries,
malls
. Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
people
prefer to go there only having
fun and just Change the verb form
to have
for spending
time because of e-commerce. I generally agree with Change preposition
to spend
this
point and I will consider my opinion in this
essay.
There are numerous disadvantages of
shopping online. Sometimes you do not know exactly what you are getting. Change preposition
to
Products
looked great Correct article usage
The products
might
feel chintzy or cheap when you hold Correct word choice
but might
in
. You can not determine the texture Correct pronoun usage
them in
fabric
, fit or quality just by looking at a photo. Change preposition
of fabric
Other
drawback is Correct quantifier usage
Another
lack
of touch and feel of Correct article usage
the lack
product
in online shopping. It creates concerns over the quality of the product on offer. It is impossible Fix the agreement mistake
products
that
Change preposition
to
trying
clothes on .
If we look at Wrong verb form
try
other point
of the issue, shopping Change the wording
another point
other points
malls
more interesting place
to Fix the agreement mistake
places
shop
. People
enjoy shopping at malls
with friends. That is
a good idea to spend time together. In the malls
, there are entertainment
places such
as cinemas , bowling alleys, restaurants and playground
for children. You can Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
shop
security while
your children are in the exactly
place. It makes Change the adverb
exact
great
atmosphere for purchasing Add an article
a great
merchandises
. Another positive aspect is you can have Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
opportunity
to try on clothes and get advice on products from Correct article usage
the opportunity
shop
assistant. They can help you to find your colour and size. Correct article usage
a shop
Also
, they recommend which one is suitable for you. Finally
, in
Change preposition
apply
this
physical stores allow price negotiations between Correct determiner usage
these
customer
andFix the agreement mistake
customers
shopkeeper
. You have Fix the agreement mistake
shopkeepers
chance
to get products in a better deal if you gather more Correct article usage
a chance
merchandises
in one Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
shop
.
That's why people
don't go to shopping stores only for entertainment
. However
shopkeepers have to revolutionize Add a comma
However,
quality
of Add an article
the quality
shop
inventoriea
. In my Correct your spelling
inventories
opinion
it had better shops and Add a comma
opinion,
entertainment
are
under one roof.Unnecessary verb
apply
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general
To enhance your essay, make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. A clearer introduction with a stronger thesis statement will also help clarify your stance from the beginning. Additionally, working on transitions between paragraphs will enhance the flow. For example, "If we look at other point of the issue" could be rephrased for better clarity.
general
Try to expand on the examples provided to illustrate points more vividly. Specific examples often make your argument more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly divided your essay into paragraphs that cover different aspects of the topic. This structure helps in maintaining clarity.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, offering a balanced view which strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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