Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members ofsociety. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #ofsociety #school #place

Some argue that mothers and fathers should educate their

children

on how to become good members of society,

while

others believe that education institutes are the best place to learn

this

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

parents

can provide their

children

with emotional support, I believe universities incorporate a more structured method for shaping

children

Change preposition

into

show examples

becoming better citizens.

Parents

, at best, can understand their child's emotional range and can guide them in their younger years with respect to their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and discipline. They are the

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

who are always,

initially

, in their

children

's vicinity, thereby understanding certain gestures early which might grow into some form of indiscipline. It is here, that

parents

can interfere with their

sons

Change noun form

son's

sons'

show examples

and daughter's life and do a course correction.

For example

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Western countries,

adoloscents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

are often kept in

day care

Correct your spelling

daycare

show examples

centres

due to

both the mother and father being busy with work, later these infants develop aggression when they grow up because of

this

initial neglect.

However

this

essay believes that

parents

can only build the foundation of a child, but being acceptable to societal values is best done in a cohesive environment that the education centres provide.

Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on Mon Sep 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score, work on ensuring that all points mentioned in the introduction are addressed in the body paragraphs and that examples provided are very directly related to the points being made.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Linking words and phrases can help guide the reader and create a more cohesive essay.

task achievement

The topic is clearly defined and the essay addresses both points of view as required.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear structure to the introduction, presenting the topic and the writer's opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

193 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs,believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work.Other employees see no benifit in doing so.
It has been known that investing in employees health is beneficials to boost productivity of work. I believe companies tar do not support paying for spots clubs are investing in major aspects. Whereas, others, find it progressively important to combine working out within word environment. I will endeavour to discuss it further and provide a conclusion at the end.
6
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Now, at the time of the development of the Internet, everyone can find and learn about their diseases, diagnosis and treatment.
4
band
Computer games are very popular in all age groups and nationalities. Parents think it has little educational value and harmful effects. What is your opinion about this? Give examples based on your own experience.
Nowadays, the technologies are becoming more advance where it also affect the computer games' development. The computer games have entered all age groups and nationalities. However, some people believe that the computer games would bring negative impact in adolescents' education and negative effect for their lives. In my opinion, I agree that computer games could affect children's education and their health. Here are my explanations.
7.5
band
These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, more and more fathers are looking after the children while the mothers are the breadwinners. This phenomenon might be the result of women being equally educated and proven to be as smart as men if not more and, in my opinion, it contributes positively to society because it is changing societal norms as well as the male's point of view.
7
band
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?
The debate over the primary function of universities continues to spark interest. Some argue that universities should equip graduates with practical knowledge and skills for the workplace, while others believe that the true purpose of higher education is to provide knowledge for its own sake, irrespective of its utility to employers. From my perspective, universities should primarily focus on fostering critical thinking and comprehensive education, thereby serving both societal and individual needs.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members ofsociety. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs,believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work.Other employees see no benifit in doing so.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Computer games are very popular in all age groups and nationalities. Parents think it has little educational value and harmful effects. What is your opinion about this? Give examples based on your own experience.

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?