IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?n?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers #n
The
possibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
show examples
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 all
vehicles
 will be
driverless
 which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 all people transported with
will
Correct pronoun usage
them will
show examples
 be passengers. In my perspective, the benefits of
driverless
vehicles
 outweigh
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 drawbacks in both
time
 and cost
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
. Undoubtably, one of the most concerning
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 in
driverless
vehicles
 is relying all of your safety
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
A.I.
Correct your spelling
AI
show examples
 (Artificial
Intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
show examples
)
instead
 of your driving skill or skilled
driver
.
However
,
driverless
 cars' A.I.
Add a missing verb
is decised
show examples
decised
Correct your spelling
decided
 by many
programing
Correct your spelling
programming
show examples
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
,
simulation
Fix the agreement mistake
simulations
show examples
, and
calculation
Fix the agreement mistake
calculations
show examples
, which
much
Add a missing verb
are much
show examples
 higher in accuracy than human
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. To illustrate, nowadays, less than 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
man-kind
Correct your spelling
mankind
show examples
 can compete with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer vision technology just to identify the picture between dogs and cats.
For the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 benefits of
driverless
vehicles
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
maximise
Wrong verb form
maximising
show examples
time
 and cost efficiency, the
driverless
 cars mean former
driver
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have to waste their
time
to drive
Change the verb form
driving
show examples
 their car to any destination.
For instance
, if the officer, who
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 2 hours of driving to go to work
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
,
buy
Correct subject-verb agreement
buys
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
driverless
 car, he will save more than 300 hours per year of focusing on driving. The financial benefits of
driverless
 trucks and buses are happening with
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 that need
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 to transport their goods or people because they don't need to hire more
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 anytime
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 scale up anymore. They can just only buy new
driverless
 trucks. To elaborate, Many logistic
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
show examples
 employ more than three
shift
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
show examples
 of
driver
 to handle just one car for 24-7 which can
be easily replace
Change the verb form
be easily replaced
show examples
 by
driverless
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
. In conclusion, the advantages of
driverless
vehicles
 outweigh
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 disadvantages in both
time
 saving for passenger and
also
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 for
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 which use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driverless
vehicles
 to
leaverage
Correct your spelling
leverage
 their
time
 and cost efficiency.
Submitted by thitiwatkem on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. The second paragraph covers multiple aspects which makes it less clear.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid awkward phrasing.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents an introduction and a conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the time saved by a driverless car, effectively support the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: