Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is becoming increasingly common for
people
to have freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
of choosing
Change preposition
to choose
in
where they Change preposition
apply
going
live. Wrong verb form
go
While
some people
believe that they need to own private
horizontal Correct article usage
a private
house
, I, however
, side with those who like to rent
an apartment to live.
On the one
hand, owning housing could offers
two main benefits. Change the verb form
offer
One
major advantage is people
could have an
ultimate privacy and could Remove the article
apply
showing
Wrong verb form
show
independency
Correct your spelling
independence
for
their social status. More and more, private housing might Change preposition
in
offers
bigger security since they no longer Change the verb form
offer
sharing
under the same roof with other families. Wrong verb form
share
Moreover
, extended family members might be one
of the reasons why people
are working hard willingly to owning
a horizontal Wrong verb form
own
house
. In fact, renting an
vertical housing Correct article usage
apply
quite
Add a missing verb
is quite
unefficient
for Correct your spelling
inefficient
Add an article
a family
the family
family
with numerous members, as it does have limited space and room inside. Fix the agreement mistake
families
Thus
, it is more suitable for some people
are better to choose owning
their own property.
Change the verb form
to own
On the other hand
, there are several more benefits by
renting Change preposition
to
a
housing or an apartment. Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, the low maintenance cost that the tenant will have. As people
are
choose to Unnecessary verb
apply
rent
a
housing, they no longer Remove the article
apply
to
think about property taxes, housing maintenance routine, and Add a missing verb
have to
great
level Correct article usage
the great
security
system they will get. Change preposition
of security
Furthermore
, younger
generation which still thriving Add an article
the younger
a younger
their
experiences and still Change preposition
in their
do
not Correct subject-verb agreement
does
thinking
about Wrong verb form
think
to have
Change the verb form
having
longer
stay in Correct article usage
a longer
one
particular area, allowing them to rent
instead
of owning a house
. This
relatively
a wiser choice since it enables them to move freely whenever they want, as renting Add a missing verb
is relatively
provide
a Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
covenient
option regarding Correct your spelling
convenient
rent
time.
In conclusion, while
ownling
Correct your spelling
owning
horizontal
Correct article usage
a horizontal
house
might offers
higher privacy and larger space for family members, renting Change the verb form
offer
house
offers more benefits for low maintenance housecare and Correct article usage
a house
individual's
personal growth. Correct article usage
an individual's
Therefore
, I remain firmly convinced that rent
an apartment Wrong verb form
renting
contribute
positively towards Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
people
who still need time to thriving
.Change the verb form
thrive
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, make sure to use correct and consistent terminology. For example, 'owning housing' and 'renting a housing' could be simplified and clarified as 'owning a home' and 'renting a home' respectively.
task achievement
Introduce some specific relevant examples to better support your arguments, such as referencing studies, surveys, or personal experiences.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy, especially verb conjugation and articles. For instance, 'renting an vertical housing quite unefficient' should be 'renting vertical housing is quite inefficient.'
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views on renting versus owning a home.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
The writer addresses various points such as privacy, maintenance costs, and mobility, catering to different audience needs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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