IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

cambridge15- general- test 1 In many countries, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular ? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
 world,
people
Use synonyms
 have a tendency to spend their time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching movies and reading books; one of the most popular topics in these fields is
crime
Use synonyms
. There are several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 fame and in my perspective ,the advantages which
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 kinds of books and films bear outweigh its drawbacks. causes of
this
Linking Words
 subject and my opinion about it will be discussed in the following paragraphs. As mentioned above, there are some obvious reasons which demonstrate the causes of
crime
Use synonyms
 genre success;
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most outstanding one,
excitements
Fix the agreement mistake
excitement
show examples
 and interactive actions in
this
Linking Words
 field can be pointed out.
In other words
Linking Words
,
crime
Use synonyms
 movies and books arouse
curiosity
Correct article usage
the curiosity
show examples
 sense of audiences and encourage them to find truths and sort out solutions for mysteries, the subject which is a stimulus factor to absorb audiences' attention.
Besides
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
crime based
Add a hyphen
crime-based
show examples
 stories illustrate some social issues of each nation around the world,
thus
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
's awareness increases about these problems, they have a tendency to realize
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the difficulties of their counterparts and the way that they withstand
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
;
crime
Use synonyms
 series and readings are the most convenient way to become in touch with these subjects.
Although
Linking Words
, some opine that dramas and novels which contain
crime
Use synonyms
 fiction will cause a growth in the violence range, I opine that they benefit society in diverse areas.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, some believe that
popularity
Correct article usage
the popularity
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 field will
arise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 society's hidden anger, the subject which will
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 more crimes
such
Linking Words
 as vandalism, stealing,
murdering
Replace the word
murder
show examples
 and many other criminal actions. In my notion, watching and reading about
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 fields,
however
Linking Words
, bear more learning points for individuals.
For example
Linking Words
, by watching a movie about
sexual
Correct article usage
the sexual
show examples
 annoying of women,
people
Use synonyms
 will
be become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
show examples
 aware of
cautionary
Correct article usage
the cautionary
show examples
 elements of
such
Linking Words
 action,
thus
Linking Words
 they will be more concentrated
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the hazardous signs. In conclusion,
crime
Use synonyms
 novels and shows have gained more fame among the
people
Use synonyms
 in
last
Linking Words
 decades
due to
Linking Words
 their exciting and real stories; in my viewpoint,
such
Linking Words
 reputation will bear efficient points for societies as they can be an element for realizing social issues.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay's introduction is clear, but it might be beneficial to avoid phrases like 'as mentioned above' since this is the first time you are laying out your points. Consider stating directly what the main reasons for the popularity of crime genres are.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to connect your points with clear linking words and phrases, as the argumentation can sometimes feel disjointed. For example, instead of 'Besides,' you could use 'Additionally' to create a smoother transition.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are convoluted and could benefit from being broken up into shorter, more concise statements. For instance, 'crime movies and books arouse curiosity sense of audiences and encourage them to find truths and sort out solutions for mysteries' could be simplified.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You successfully addressed the task's requirements, providing reasons for the popularity of crime genres and your personal opinion on them.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: