the graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

the graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the percentage of elderly
people
Use synonyms
whose ages are 65 and above from 1940 to 2040 in Japan, Sweden and the
USA
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
of elderly
people
Use synonyms
in the
USA
Use synonyms
started at 9% in 1940,
then
Linking Words
the
number
Use synonyms
increased to exactly 15% over the next 40 years. Since
then
Linking Words
, the percentage decreased by 1% until 2020 before rising drastically to about 23%
at the end
Linking Words
of the period. More or less 7% of the Swedish
people
Use synonyms
were over 65 years old. Sweden shared the same trend with the
USA
Use synonyms
until 1990 with a gap of 1% below.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the population of ageing
people
Use synonyms
went up to precisely 20% before 2020. It is predicted that the population will drop by 2% followed by a rise to slightly above 25% in 2040. 5% of the Japanese population was old, yet the
number
Use synonyms
dropped by 3% in the next few decades. The trend shifted in 1990 when the
number
Use synonyms
of old citizens gradually hiked to 10% in 2030 and is expected to surge to 27% in 2040. In summary,
although
Linking Words
Japan started as the lowest country with ageing
people
Use synonyms
, it will surpass both the
USA
Use synonyms
and Sweden
at the end
Linking Words
of the period.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, usa, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: