Children engaged in sport are often overloaded with physical activity or get serious traumas. What are the main reasons of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#children #sport #activity #traumas

It is

irrefutable

Correct article usage

an irrefutable

show examples

fact that

sports

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

a vital role in

childen

Correct your spelling

children

life. Most of the

children

engaged

Wrong verb form

engage

show examples

sports

and do some hard physical activities which leads to

dangerous

Replace the word

danger

show examples

. I intend to discuss. To commence ,There are

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

of reasons regarding

this

issue.

Firstly

, they choose

sports

as a top priority and do very tough

exercise

Fix the agreement mistake

exercises

show examples

to boost

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their stamina .

Morover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

Sports

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

them more confident. They like to spend their

lesiure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing exercise or

sports

which may

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

cause disabilities and

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

injuries. Some

children

immidate

Correct your spelling

imitate

immediate

their famous

sports person

Correct your spelling

sportsperson

show examples

renowed

Correct your spelling

renowned

person but they forget about their age and food supplements so

that is

why

children

face tribulation related to their health. They are more

passinate

Correct your spelling

passionate

about

sports

and

wants

Correct subject-verb agreement

want

show examples

make

Verb problem

gain

show examples

fame and

name

Correct article usage

a name

show examples

in the world.

Apart from

this

Sports

are good if

children

play it under the privileges. It is

Correct article usage

the schools

show examples

schools

Change noun form

schools'

school's

show examples

responsibility to hire

experience

Wrong verb form

experienced

show examples

sportperson

Correct your spelling

sportsperson

sport person

who train them

with

Change preposition

show examples

proper

Correct article usage

the proper

show examples

way meanwhile

children

should know about

Correct article usage

the prons

show examples

prons

Correct your spelling

pros

show examples

and cons

about

Change preposition

show examples

sports

Firthermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, Proper attention should be there

Change preposition

show examples

parents

also

children

should

also

take care

about

Change preposition

show examples

the safety jackets and

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

and wear

while

Correct pronoun usage

them while

show examples

playing games.

To sum up

, increasing awareness about

sports

and preparing adequate facilities can decrease the negative results on

children

while

playing

sports

Submitted by simran17895 on Tue Sep 17 2024

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task achievement

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Real-life cases or statistics can enhance the credibility of your points.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to ensure clearer, more coherent sentences. This will help in presenting your ideas more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Use more linking words and phrases to create a smoother flow between your ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the causes and solutions to the problem, covering the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

Main points are generally clear and understandable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

220 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children engaged in sport are often overloaded with physical activity or get serious traumas. What are the main reasons of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some believe that more young people hold the important positions in government, while others believe that the young people should not. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do yout think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Write about the following topic: Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+