In many countries, young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing home with friends. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.
In different countries,
people
who become young try to abandon their parents
after they graduate from school and they want to live either alone or with their friends. I think it has both positive and negative impacts on their lives which I explain in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, it is clear that
after young people
finish school trying to either find a job or continue their education overseas which can be the main reason they are trying to leave their families behind. for example
: young people
who live in my country really want to find better jobs or education in Western countries after they are done with school. Additionally
, it is a very big opportunity, and by using it not only you take advantage but your parents
as well.
On the other hand
, leaving your parents
who raised you and have been in bad situations with you will be a very negative action you can take in your life. when you were vulnerable and could not do anything it was your parents
who spent their time taking care of you but when they needed you when they got old you left them behind. Furthermore
, it is not necessary to abandon your family, you can stay with them and take care of them at the same time you are also
free to go everywhere.
In conclusion, some people
like to leave behind their families to achieve their dreams which is freedom but they make mistakes because it is not what they think or believe but for those who chose
to live with their Wrong verb form
choose
parents
it is a great choice.Submitted by abdullahhabibi9999 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion. The introduction should better set up the essay, and the conclusion should more clearly summarize the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a central idea and that the main points are fully developed with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task. Provide more detailed examples and elaborate on your points more comprehensively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas clearly and justify your arguments with more specific examples and logical reasoning.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt at discussing both positive and negative impacts of young people leaving their parents' homes.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally clear, and you have made an effort to support your ideas with some examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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