IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities such as crossword puzzles or chess. Discuss the both views and include your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 have different preferences for their leisure
activities
Use synonyms
, some enjoy doing physical
activities
Use synonyms
 and others prefer to do mental ones. I agree with the former opinion because most of my work as a computer engineer
envovles
Correct your spelling
involves
involved
 using my
brain
Use synonyms
 without any physical
activities
Use synonyms
 so, I prefer doing
exercises
Use synonyms
 in my free
time
Use synonyms
. Physical
activities
Use synonyms
 are
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essential in today's lifestyle and In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is really important to add sports to our daily schedules. Considering most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs today consist of sitting several hours behind a computer and the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 individuals spend
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working,
people
Use synonyms
's
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 are becoming sedentary. So doing sports in your free
time
Use synonyms
 keeps your body healthy.
Additionally
Linking Words
, doing physical
activities
Use synonyms
 on a regular basis gives our
brain
Use synonyms
 a chance to cool down and recover which is really important for our
overall
Linking Words
 performance in our daily mental
activities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, after heading to the gym and doing
exercises
Use synonyms
 I can focus better on my tasks because
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
 working out I keep everything off my mind so after it not only my body is
freshed
Correct your spelling
fresh
 but my mind is
also
Linking Words
 recovered.
As a result
Linking Words
, being physically healthy has
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 direct impact on your mental health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe doing
brain
Use synonyms
 games
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them relax better. There is a main advantage in doing
activities
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
that required
show examples
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 great
brain
Use synonyms
 function and creativity.
Those kind
Change the determiner
That kind
Those kinds
show examples
 of games like crossword or chess not only distract your mind from
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 problems you're struggling to solve but they
also
Linking Words
 help you to boost your creativity and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills, which
evetually
Correct your spelling
eventually
 leads to performing better in
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, playing chess in my recreation
time
Use synonyms
 not only helps me relax, by getting
computer related
Add a hyphen
computer-related
show examples
 stuff out of my head but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 trains my
brain
Use synonyms
 with
startegies
Correct your spelling
strategies
 which are really useful to my
overall
Linking Words
 performance in solving problems. So mental
activities
Use synonyms
 can be both relaxing and useful for improving our thinking abilities. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 are mostly into doing physical
exercises
Use synonyms
 as a
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of calming themselves others rather
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 mental
activities
Use synonyms
 to achieve the same goal. I agree with the first
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 because doing
exercises
Use synonyms
 not only helps our mental health but it
also
Linking Words
 keeps us fit.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Many ideas are presented, but they could be articulated more clearly. Consider using more complex sentence structures and vocabulary for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve organization by ensuring each sentence and paragraph transition smoothly. Enhance the logical flow between points and ideas.
task achievement
Provided relevant examples to support main points, which strengthens the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, forming a basic structure which enhances readability.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: