The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Generating revenue is the first priority of businesses, and social
work
is not what they must
need to do. I wholeheartedly agree with Verb problem
apply
this
statement and I will support my opinion with arguments in the essay below.
To begin
with, doing something for public
is a good thing. From my perspective, companies do not need to have local public responsibilities. Add an article
the public
Instead
, they need to help out the emplyoees
who are giving their strength and working in their company. Correct your spelling
employees
For example
, giving bonus
to Add an article
a bonus
the bonus
worker
Add an article
a worker
the worker
on
various achievements or any occasion not only Change preposition
for
benefit
him but Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
also
his family, this
is also
the
kind of social Correct article usage
a
work
. Hence
, the top responsibility of businesses should be making money and they do not need to do social things, but if they still want to do anything for public
and for their people, they should consider their own peers.
Correct article usage
the public
Secondly
, famous brands are already giving a high amount in the form of taxes
& bills to their governments. For instance
, if they are going to do social work
as well as
paying taxes
, it become
Change the verb form
becomes
loss
for their company. Add an article
a loss
Instead
, its
the duty of government officials to build local communities rather than companies who are already fulfilling their major duties by paying Correct your spelling
it's
taxes
. As an example, well known
brands Add a hyphen
well-known
such
as Nike, Gucci, tesla etc are already giving required bills to their governments and now organization administrators are responsible for all kind
of social reforms.
In conclusion, making money is Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
top
priority of businesses. Add an article
the top
a top
Moreover
, they should help their own emplyoees
rather than local people. Correct your spelling
employees
Addditionally
, numerous brands are already paying Correct your spelling
Additionally
taxes
to government
, and now NGOs, Add an article
the government
helping
centres are responsible for all Correct word choice
and helping
type
of social Fix the agreement mistake
types
work
.Submitted by kirivlogs0 on
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task response
To improve your score in Task Response, make sure that your arguments are fully developed and directly address all parts of the prompt. Currently, the essay leans heavily on the idea that businesses should focus on helping their own employees, which is an important point but should be balanced with considerations about the broader social responsibilities of businesses.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen Coherence and Cohesion, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one point to the next. Currently, the essay has some inconsistencies, like jumping from employee benefits to paying taxes without a smooth transition. Including more structured linking sentences would improve readability.
task response
Support your main points with more specific examples or data to make your arguments more compelling. Right now, the examples you have included (like giving bonuses to employees or paying taxes) are relatively vague and could benefit from more detailed explanation.
introduction conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss. Currently, it introduces the idea but could more explicitly state the specific arguments that will be covered in the essay.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide a sense of completion and direction to your argument.
task response
You have some strong points and examples, such as the role of government in social responsibility and the importance of employee benefits. These help to illustrate your main arguments effectively.