Some people think that dancing is an important subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. What are positive and negative sides of art at school? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience or knowledge. Write about 180-220 words.
Dance
is very famous in the world. Everyone loves to dance
, it gives happiness. But otherside
, some people think that it is a waste of time. In Correct your spelling
otherwise
this
Correct your spelling
essay
eassy
Add a comma
eassy,
i
will discuss Change the capitalization
I
advantages
and disadvantages of Correct article usage
the advantages
dance
at school.
On the first hand, no one can denies
that Change the verb form
deny
dance
classes
are very important in schools
. For example
, after all the stress of Science , Math and English classes
students, feel so relaxed when they join dance
classes
. Their mind get
Change the verb form
gets
freshed
after dancing and students feel happy. Correct your spelling
refreshed
fresh
Dance
helps to heal the stress which they get from studies. Nowadays if schools
doesn't
have Change the verb form
don't
dance
classes
, parents are
send their children to Unnecessary verb
apply
dance
classes
n dance
schools
.
On the other hand
, there are few
drawbacks Correct article usage
a few
of
Change preposition
to
dance
classes
in schools
. Some Students miss their classes
to just have fun in dance
classes
. However
, it affects their performance in school by which they fails
. Change the verb form
fail
That is
the reason parents are worried about their children's future.
In conclusion, dance
is helpful only when you are giving same
time to your studies Correct article usage
the same
also
, so that you can achieve your goals in your life.Submitted by kaursaijbir on
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task achievement
You have addressed the question well, providing both positive and negative sides of having dance as a subject in schools. However, it would be beneficial to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a specific study or real-life instance where dance helped reduce stress among students.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, the ideas can be more logically organized. For the introduction, try to provide a more balanced view without showing bias, and for the body paragraphs, use cohesive devices to better link your ideas and sentences. Additionally, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing you might want to correct.
task achievement
You successfully discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of dance classes in schools, which shows a balanced view and understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and the essay's intention to discuss both positive and negative sides.
coherence cohesion
Your concluding statement nicely emphasizes the importance of balancing dance and studies to achieve goals.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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