Some people think that dancing is an important subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. What are positive and negative sides of art at school? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience or knowledge. Write about 180-220 words.

#people #children #school #waste #time #art #give

Dance

is very famous in the world. Everyone loves to

dance

, it gives happiness. But

otherside

Correct your spelling

otherwise

, some people think that it is a waste of time. In

this

Correct your spelling

essay

eassy

Add a comma

eassy,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will discuss

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

and disadvantages of

dance

at school. On the first hand, no one can

denies

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deny

show examples

that

dance

classes

are very important in

schools

For example

, after all the stress of Science , Math and English

classes

students, feel so relaxed when they join

dance

classes

. Their mind

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

freshed

Correct your spelling

refreshed

fresh

after dancing and students feel happy.

Dance

helps to heal the stress which they get from studies. Nowadays if

schools

doesn't

Change the verb form

don't

show examples

have

dance

classes

, parents

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

send their children to

dance

classes

dance

schools

On the other hand

, there are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

drawbacks

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show examples

dance

classes

schools

. Some Students miss their

classes

to just have fun in

dance

classes

However

, it affects their performance in school by which they

fails

Change the verb form

fail

show examples

That is

the reason parents are worried about their children's future. In conclusion,

dance

is helpful only when you are giving

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

time to your studies

also

, so that you can achieve your goals in your life.

Submitted by kaursaijbir on Tue Sep 17 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the question well, providing both positive and negative sides of having dance as a subject in schools. However, it would be beneficial to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a specific study or real-life instance where dance helped reduce stress among students.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, the ideas can be more logically organized. For the introduction, try to provide a more balanced view without showing bias, and for the body paragraphs, use cohesive devices to better link your ideas and sentences. Additionally, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing you might want to correct.

task achievement

You successfully discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of dance classes in schools, which shows a balanced view and understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the topic and the essay's intention to discuss both positive and negative sides.

coherence cohesion

Your concluding statement nicely emphasizes the importance of balancing dance and studies to achieve goals.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

189 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

extracurricular
kinesthetic learning
aesthetic appreciation
cognitive development
resource allocation
holistic development
academic rigor
creative outlets
physical endurance
budget constraints
curriculum integration
motor skills
self-discipline
peer interaction
cultural awareness

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Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that schools should remove art classes and focus on more important subjects such as mathematics and science. Do the advantages of cutting art classes outweigh the disadvantages?

Many manufactured food and drink contains high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that people should choose their jobs based on income in order to provide security for their families. Do you agree that salary is an important factor when choosing a job? What factors should be considered?