Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there is
an
debatable topic where young generations are encouraged to learn all Change the article
a
subjects
comprehensively in school. However
, others argue that they should learn subjects
that they have good marks or they are passionated
about. Correct your spelling
passionate
Hence
, this
essay will compare the advantages from
both sides to reach a conclusion.
On the one hand, learning all Change preposition
of
subjects
in school will equip youngsters to have broad knowledge
because this
will enhance their information to pursue their future
careers. In other words
, knowing about everything will help them to decide what degrees they should concentrate in
college. Change preposition
on in
Thus
, this
will avoid
them Verb problem
prevent
to
Change preposition
from
have
a wrong decision in the Verb problem
making
future
. For example
, some schools in Asia implement a curricullum
where requiring high school students to learn all Correct your spelling
curriculum
subjects
before continuing to universities.
On the other hand
, focusing all
Change preposition
on all
subjects
will spend much
useless time, resulting in Verb problem
waste a lot of
lack
of focus in students. Correct article usage
a lack
Therefore
, adolescents are better to focus
on only Change preposition
off focusing
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
subject
to obtain deeper Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
knowledge
about certain subjects
. In fact, focusing on the particular subjects
that they Add a missing verb
are interest
interest
Replace the word
interested
enables
them to have Change preposition
in enables
bigger
motivation to achieve Correct word choice
greater
good
career in the Add an article
a good
future
. Hence
, having a
Correct article usage
apply
spesialised
Correct your spelling
specialised
knowledge
will intrigue them to become great researchers or inventors.
In conclusion, focusing all
Change preposition
on all
subjects
will make
teenagers Verb problem
give
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
broad Correct article usage
apply
knowledge
and enough information to pursue their future
career
, but others say that they should only focus on Fix the agreement mistake
careers
the
Correct article usage
a
spesific
subject to have plenty of time to dive deeper Correct your spelling
specific
in
their passion. In my opinion, focusing only on particular Change preposition
into
subjects
will be better for students because they will create bigger
impact Add an article
a bigger
to
Change preposition
on
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
Your essay answers the question and includes important points from both sides of the argument. However, you can enhance the quality of your response by providing more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay maintains a logical structure that helps the reader follow your argument, but some sections could benefit from improved transitions. For example, ensure smoother links between ideas in paragraphs and within sentences to make your text flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using complex sentences where appropriate to add variety and sophistication to your writing. This will improve the overall cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to specific word choices and correct any minor grammatical mistakes. For instance, use ‘are passionate about’ instead of ‘are passionated about,’ and ‘curriculum’ instead of ‘curricullum.’ This will improve both cohesion and overall clarity in your text.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion by considering both viewpoints, which makes your argument well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide clear starting and closing points for the reader, enhancing the structure of your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?