Today, more and more full-time university students focus on other activities rather than spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays is more
comun
Correct your spelling
common
that
Correct word choice
for
show examples
full-
time
university
students
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
their
time
in academic and
university
activies inster
Correct your spelling
activities instead
of
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
their
time
studying.
The
Correct article usage
University
show examples
university
students
spend most of their
time
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
campus whether studying or doing social
activities
, it is important that the
students
be involve
Change the verb form
be involved
show examples
in
extra currucular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
activities
in order to
encorage
Correct your spelling
encourage
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
to improve their
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
or give them some tools to manage anxiety or stress during their courses.
this
essay will discuss the importance and the
impact
of doing and
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
activities
in the
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. The anxiety and stress that individual can have during their studies is a huge concern. the correct balance between study and other
activities
is essential to
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
not
olny
Correct your spelling
only
their health but
also
help them to
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
their scores.
Therefore
,
Univesities
Correct your spelling
Universities
must offer a
big
Correct word choice
wide
show examples
range of extra
activities
in their semesters in order to prevent illness and mental
helth
Correct your spelling
health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
their
students
. some
activities
such
as sports,
art
Correct word choice
and art
show examples
workshops
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
, could help them to manage in a better way with their problems and
specialy
Correct your spelling
especially
in the exams
time
when the
students
can suffer a huge
presuare
Correct your spelling
pressure
pleasure
. the majority of the universities have been creating new spaces where the
students
can relax and express themselves.
On the other hand
, some people believe that
this
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
activities
could distract them
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
their studies.
however
,
depent
Correct your spelling
depending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct word choice
whether the
show examples
studient achive
Correct your spelling
student achieves
a good score and
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
to improve
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
long
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
. there is no doubt that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
students
usually
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
sports or play
intruments
Correct your spelling
instruments
. but spend more
time
that the
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
could
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact
in their
performace
Correct your spelling
performance
.The correct balance between both of them is imperative. In conclusion, even if doing other
activities
during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
University
has a good
impact
in a big range of
differentes
Correct your spelling
different
ways in the
studients journy
Correct your spelling
student journey
, it is important that each student make sure that the amount of
time
that they need to invest in their free
time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
at the end
of the
days
Add a comma
days,
show examples
an incorrect way to plan
this
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
activities
can have a negative
impact
rather than a good one.
Submitted by camilaaranzazur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing ideas more clearly to enhance logical structure and coherence. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve clarity and coherence. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure that each sentence conveys a complete thought.
task achievement
Expand on your points with specific examples or studies to support your arguments. This will help in providing a complete response and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and discusses the importance of extracurricular activities for university students, which is relevant to the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion and provide closure.
task achievement
The essay mentions the benefits of managing stress and anxiety through extracurricular activities, which is a viable point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: