IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today, more and more full-time university students focus on other activities rather than spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays is more
comun
Correct your spelling
common
that
Correct word choice
for
show examples
 full-
time
Use synonyms
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
 in academic and
university
Use synonyms
activies inster
Correct your spelling
activities instead
 of
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
 studying.
The
Correct article usage
University
show examples
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
campus whether studying or doing social
activities
Use synonyms
, it is important that the
students
Use synonyms
be involve
Change the verb form
be involved
show examples
 in
extra currucular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
activities
Use synonyms
 in order to
encorage
Correct your spelling
encourage
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 to improve their
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 or give them some tools to manage anxiety or stress during their courses.
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the importance and the
impact
Use synonyms
 of doing and
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 in the
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. The anxiety and stress that individual can have during their studies is a huge concern. the correct balance between study and other
activities
Use synonyms
 is essential to
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
not
olny
Correct your spelling
only
 their health but
also
Linking Words
 help them to
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
 their scores.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Univesities
Correct your spelling
Universities
 must offer a
big
Correct word choice
wide
show examples
 range of extra
activities
Use synonyms
 in their semesters in order to prevent illness and mental
helth
Correct your spelling
health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 their
students
Use synonyms
. some
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as sports,
art
Correct word choice
and art
show examples
 workshops
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
, could help them to manage in a better way with their problems and
specialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 in the exams
time
Use synonyms
 when the
students
Use synonyms
 can suffer a huge
presuare
Correct your spelling
pressure
pleasure
. the majority of the universities have been creating new spaces where the
students
Use synonyms
 can relax and express themselves.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people believe that
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 could distract them
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their studies.
however
Linking Words
,
depent
Correct your spelling
depending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct word choice
whether the
show examples
studient achive
Correct your spelling
student achieves
 a good score and
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to improve
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
long
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
. there is no doubt that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
students
Use synonyms
 usually
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
 sports or play
intruments
Correct your spelling
instruments
. but spend more
time
Use synonyms
 that the
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 could
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 in their
performace
Correct your spelling
performance
.The correct balance between both of them is imperative. In conclusion, even if doing other
activities
Use synonyms
 during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
University
Use synonyms
 has a good
impact
Use synonyms
 in a big range of
differentes
Correct your spelling
different
 ways in the
studients journy
Correct your spelling
student journey
, it is important that each student make sure that the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 that they need to invest in their free
time
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
days
Add a comma
days,
show examples
 an incorrect way to plan
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 can have a negative
impact
Use synonyms
 rather than a good one.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing ideas more clearly to enhance logical structure and coherence. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve clarity and coherence. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure that each sentence conveys a complete thought.
task achievement
Expand on your points with specific examples or studies to support your arguments. This will help in providing a complete response and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and discusses the importance of extracurricular activities for university students, which is relevant to the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion and provide closure.
task achievement
The essay mentions the benefits of managing stress and anxiety through extracurricular activities, which is a viable point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: