Being a celebrity - such as a movie star or professional athlete - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or drawbacks?

In 2020, I bought a condominium that was still under construction and it was predicted to be completed in 2023.
However
, owing to the pandemic of Covid-19, the completion date has been delayed. On April 30, 2024, I completed the vacant possession appointment for house key collection. Me and my husband have spent lots of time and funds on the house renovation and furniture.
At the end
of June, We started to move into our first owned house. I would like to state that for me to pursue
this
qualification by taking a course in Australia would create various job opportunities and better salaries. I wish that with
this
benefit, I can contribute more to my family, home country and promising future.
Submitted by tifjong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

general
This essay should clearly focus on the prompt by discussing the specific benefits and drawbacks of being a celebrity. Present a clear stance on whether being a celebrity has more benefits or drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with an introduction that presents your main argument, body paragraphs that support your points with specific details and examples, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain clear and logical structure throughout. Group related ideas into paragraphs and use transition words to help the reader follow your arguments.
task achievement
Provide concrete examples specifically related to being a celebrity when discussing its benefits and drawbacks. This will help to better support your points and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and explain the reasons behind your points clearly to demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
general
Your writing demonstrates a strong grasp of language mechanics, with accurate grammar and sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear flow in your narrative, showing that you have the ability to construct a coherent story.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • duality
  • acknowledged
  • accrue
  • endorsements
  • sponsorships
  • influential
  • recognition
  • admiration
  • privileged
  • exclusive
  • luxury
  • privacy invasion
  • paparazzi
  • scrutiny
  • pressure
  • exploitation
  • unscrupulous
  • mental health issues
  • public image
  • perks
  • impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: