Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. ,Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films, need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both· these,views and give your o�n .opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

some people argue that they do not have to go to the
cinema
anymore and enjoy watching the movies from their electronic devices.
while
others say that the best way to have a full experience is
going
Wrong verb form
to go
show examples
to the
cinema
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is not
necesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to go to the
cinema
to see a
movie
, I believe that we have to go to the
cinmena
Correct your spelling
cinema
to have a full experience
cinematographic
Change preposition
of cinematographic
show examples
.
This
essay will discuss both views and I will provide
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my opinion. On the one hand, many people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
avoiding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cinemas,
due to
the new platforms
such
as
netflix
Change the capitalization
Netflix
show examples
,
disney
Change the capitalization
Disney
show examples
plus or
amazon
Capitalize word
Amazon
show examples
, they have an incredible variety in every genre,
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
show examples
they offer the
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
to pause the
movie
or series at any time and continue it later on, making more easier for the users to watch anything when they want.
Furthermore
, they offer
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
monthly
subcriptions
Correct your spelling
subscription
really affordable which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
it really tentative
on the other hand
, what I agree with, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a big part of the population that
love
Correct subject-verb agreement
loves
show examples
the experience of going to the
cinema
, the
particulary
Correct your spelling
particular
particularly
smell of popcorn and the incredible quality of sound that cinemas offer.
Moreover
, is the perfect excuse to get out of the house and do
somenthing
Correct your spelling
something
different.
For instance
, I go to the
cinema
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
every new
movie
lunching I do not miss any making my weekends more
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
.
To sum up
,
this
essay
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
discussed both views,
while
I agree that the best way to see a
movie
is in the
cinema
, others enjoy the variety and the
confort
Correct your spelling
comfort
to watch
Change preposition
of watching
show examples
a
movie
from their homes.
Submitted by jimeilaria on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Spelling
Avoid spelling and grammatical errors such as 'necesary' (necessary) and 'cinmena' (cinema). These can detract from the overall readability of your essay and may confuse the reader.
Sentence Structure
Work on your sentence structure to ensure clarity. For example, the sentence 'Although, is not necesary to go to the cinema to see a movie...' should be 'Although it is not necessary to go to the cinema to see a movie...'
Supporting Points
Enhance the support for your main points with specific examples and details. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Transition Words
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to help guide the reader through your argument.
Thesis Statement Clarity
Make sure your thesis statement in the introduction is clear and directly addresses the essay question. This will help in shaping the rest of your essay more cohesively.
Balanced Discussion
Your essay attempts to cover both views and includes your own opinion, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
Personal Examples
You have provided some personal examples, which is beneficial for illustrating your points and making your essay more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: