Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. ,Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films, need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both· these,views and give your o�n .opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #films #phones #tablets #cinema #both· #o�n

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some people argue that they do not have to go to the

cinema

anymore and enjoy watching the movies from their electronic devices.

while

others say that the best way to have a full experience is

going

Wrong verb form

to go

show examples

to the

cinema

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is not

necesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to go to the

cinema

to see a

movie

, I believe that we have to go to the

cinmena

Correct your spelling

cinema

to have a full experience

cinematographic

Change preposition

of cinematographic

show examples

This

essay will discuss both views and I will provide

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my opinion. On the one hand, many people

Change the verb form

are

show examples

avoiding

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cinemas,

due to

the new platforms

such

netflix

Change the capitalization

Netflix

show examples

disney

Change the capitalization

Disney

show examples

plus or

amazon

Capitalize word

Amazon

show examples

, they have an incredible variety in every genre,

additionally

Add a comma

additionally,

show examples

they offer the

posibility

Correct your spelling

possibility

to pause the

movie

or series at any time and continue it later on, making more easier for the users to watch anything when they want.

Furthermore

, they offer

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

monthly

subcriptions

Correct your spelling

subscription

really affordable which

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

it really tentative

on the other hand

, what I agree with, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a big part of the population that

love

Correct subject-verb agreement

loves

show examples

the experience of going to the

cinema

, the

particulary

Correct your spelling

particular

particularly

smell of popcorn and the incredible quality of sound that cinemas offer.

Moreover

, is the perfect excuse to get out of the house and do

somenthing

Correct your spelling

something

different.

For instance

, I go to the

cinema

Change preposition

for

show examples

every new

movie

lunching I do not miss any making my weekends more

interested

Replace the word

interesting

show examples

To sum up

this

essay

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

discussed both views,

while

I agree that the best way to see a

movie

is in the

cinema

, others enjoy the variety and the

confort

Correct your spelling

comfort

to watch

Change preposition

of watching

show examples

movie

from their homes.

Submitted by jimeilaria on Wed Sep 18 2024

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Grammar and Spelling

Avoid spelling and grammatical errors such as 'necesary' (necessary) and 'cinmena' (cinema). These can detract from the overall readability of your essay and may confuse the reader.

Sentence Structure

Work on your sentence structure to ensure clarity. For example, the sentence 'Although, is not necesary to go to the cinema to see a movie...' should be 'Although it is not necessary to go to the cinema to see a movie...'

Supporting Points

Enhance the support for your main points with specific examples and details. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Transition Words

Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to help guide the reader through your argument.

Thesis Statement Clarity

Make sure your thesis statement in the introduction is clear and directly addresses the essay question. This will help in shaping the rest of your essay more cohesively.

Balanced Discussion

Your essay attempts to cover both views and includes your own opinion, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

Personal Examples

You have provided some personal examples, which is beneficial for illustrating your points and making your essay more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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