Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some studies have declared that
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
problem
has a bad impact on the physical and mental health of
people
who do not have work.
Therefore
, governments should create
job
opportunities
for
people
who
need
Correct pronoun usage
need them
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
viewpoint because eradicating
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
problem
, and ensuring
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
utilization of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
are the responsibilities of the
government
. Solving
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
problem
is the responsibility of the
government
,
therefore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should create
job
opportunities
. Governments should be aware of how many
people
are looking for jobs, and how many vacancies are available.
This
will help the
government
to create employment
opprotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
for citizens
according to
the requirements.
For example
, in Bangladesh, in 2018, the
government
conducted a survey on how many
people
are unemployed. Based on that report, the
government
created training and
job
opportunities
for
people
in numerous public service sectors.
This
helped to mitigate the
unemployment
rate significantly.
Moreover
, the
government
should believe in
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
utilization of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
of a
country
. If governments are unable to do that, most of the
people
of a
country
will remain unemployed despite being eligible to work.
Skills
Correct article usage
The skills
show examples
, knowledge and experiences of
people
are valuable assets, and these should be properly utilized to serve a
country
.
For example
, the
government
of India always focuses on utilizing the
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
of the young generation in their public service sectors.
Therefore
, they get the
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
to serve their
country
.
To conclude
, it is the duty of the
government
to create
job
opportunities
for
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and eradicate
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
problem
. Ensuring proper utilization of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
also
should be taken care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
the
government
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured overall, but be mindful of minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes such as 'opprotunities' which should be 'opportunities.'
task achievement
Provide a little more elaboration on some points to enhance the depth of your response. For instance, further explain how exactly the implementation of job opportunities helps mitigate unemployment and its effects on physical and mental health.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points, making your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, covering different aspects of government responsibilities toward unemployment.

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