Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups, However, sharing personal information on social media have risks. Do the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #risks

The popularity of social

media

among all age groups is increasing.

However

, there are risks of sharing personal information on social

media

. I personally believe that

although

social

media

helps

connecting

Wrong verb form

connect

show examples

people

, the drawbacks of it outweigh the benefits

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

sharing personal information harms the privacy and dignity of

people

. Social

media

helps to connect

people

because

people

can become friends, chat, and share photos and information with each other.

This

trend brings

people

closure and

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

the world a global village.

Moreover

, some

people

use social

media

as a business platform to sell their products. With the help of social

media

, they can earn from their home and become independent.

For example

, many women from Bangladesh, sell clothing and cosmetics on social

media

from home and

this

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

them to earn a lot. Despite the numerous advantages of social

media

, I believe that social

media

cannot respect the privacy of

people

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Wed Sep 18 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure the conclusion succinctly summarizes your arguments to reinforce your stance on the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

Pay attention to minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'sharing personal information have risks' should be 'sharing personal information has risks').

complete response

Expand on how social media users can protect themselves from privacy breaches to provide a more balanced view.

logical structure

The essay displays a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and an attempt at a conclusion.

relevant specific examples

Examples provided, such as women in Bangladesh earning from home, are relevant and enhance the argument.

supported main points

The main points are supported with explanations and examples, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

152 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups, However, sharing personal information on social media have risks. Do the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work . some people regard this as completely wrong , while others consider it valuable work experience , important for learning and taking responsibility . What are your opinion on this ?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?