IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that sports lessons are a waste of time. Write an article for your school newspaper, giving your views.

#people #sports #lessons #waste #time #article #school #newspaper
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, a variety of unique
sports
Use synonyms
 are being introduced in schools.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
 most students participate, but some say
it’s
Use synonyms
 a waste of time. I strongly believe the opposite, and rather
sports
Use synonyms
 are beneficial.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
sports
Use synonyms
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
 my opinion, teach children new
skills
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 includes the
skills
Use synonyms
 directly from playing
along with
Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
 for socialising and leadership within.
For instance
Linking Words
, playing in teams can encourage cooperation, communication, and leadership.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in my view,
it’s
Use synonyms
 clear that
sports
Use synonyms
 help maintain a good well-being. The physical activity involved in
sports
Use synonyms
 helps students to be more fit and flexible. It can help open their minds and reduce stress.
It’s
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 fun.
Although
Linking Words
it’s
Use synonyms
 true to some extent that academics are more important,
sports
Use synonyms
 are essential in school life.
In addition
Linking Words
 to proper time management,
sports
Use synonyms
 can be included as a necessary break. In conclusion, I vehemently believe
sports
Use synonyms
 are extremely beneficial and are not a waste of time. They teach new
skills
Use synonyms
, maintain physical and mental well-being and can be paired with academics.
Submitted by maryamshafeeq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention a particular sport or a case where a student benefited from sports lessons.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that transitions between paragraphs are more fluid. This will enhance readability and understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for your main argument, which is very effective.
coherence cohesion
You conclude your essay well by succinctly summarizing your main points and reinforcing your stance.
task achievement
The essay covers multiple dimensions of the benefits of sports, including skill development and physical well-being.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: