IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarkets rather than small shops or local markets? Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.

#people #shop #supermarkets #shops #markets #development
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A
lot
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 of local
markets
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 are closing down these days because their business is dying down
due to
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 plenty of
supermarkets
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 opening up, Nowadays a
lot
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 of people are leaning towards shopping in
supermarkets
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 rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 local
markets
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, In
this
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 essay I will discuss my opinion on why shopping in
supermarkets
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 can prove to be better
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then
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than
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 shopping in local
markets
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, and, some downsides that local
markets
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 can face. Shopping in
supermarkets
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 can offer you a
varaity
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variety
 of things,
for
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example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 you can find a
lot
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 of
diffrent
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different
 types of fruits, vegetables, and a
varaity
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variety
 of
diffrent
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different
 products from all around the world. Another reason people prefer
supermarkets
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 is
because
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that
show examples
 they tend to be much closer to where they live,
this
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 will make them not waste time driving just to reach a supermarket,
clearly
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clearly,
show examples
supermarkets
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 are much superior
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then
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than
show examples
 local
markets
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 But
on the other hand
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, the sheer amount of
supermarkets
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 is
effecting
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affecting
show examples
 the local
markets
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 negatively, Because
supermarkets
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 are taking a
lot
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 of business from local
markets
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 and
this
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 may lead to a
lot
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 of local
markets
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 closing down,
also
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 local
markets
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 rely on selling
there
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their
show examples
 stock
this
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 is especially true in local food
markets
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.
clearly
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clearly,
show examples
 local
markets
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 are being
effected
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affected
show examples
 negatively by the rise of
supermarkets
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. In
this
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 essay I
disscussed
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discussed
discuss
 the positives and negatives of shopping in
supermarkets
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 rather than local
markets
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, In my personal opinion I would prefer to shop in
supermarkets
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 as they are the easiest to reach and
im
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is
I'm
 much more
likley
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likely
 to find what
im
Correct your spelling
I'm
 looking for.
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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your arguments. This can add depth to your essay and make your points more compelling.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the question. While the essay discusses both sides, it would benefit from a more balanced exploration and clear stance.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical structure of your essay. Use clearer paragraphing and logical connectors to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your introduction and conclusion. These sections should frame your essay clearly, providing a strong opening and closing argument.
task achievement
The essay shows a good grasp of the topic and presents a clear preference, which is necessary for task accomplishment.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear attempt at discussing both advantages and disadvantages, showing an understanding of the need to present a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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