IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The chart gives information about the average annual water consumption in kilolitre per property in Australian cities, namely Sydney, Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne and Canberra for last year, with the pie chart that shows the distribution of Australian water consumption by the year 2014.

The chart gives information about the average annual water consumption in kilolitre per property in Australian cities, namely Sydney, Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne and Canberra for last year, with the pie chart that shows the distribution of Australian water consumption by the year 2014.
#information #water #consumption #kilolitre #property #australian #cities #sydney #perth #adelaide #brisbane #melbourne #canberra #year #distribution
chart
 provides key information about the average annual
water
consumption
 kilolitre for each house in a number of cities like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Sydney, Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne and Canberra .The pie
chart
 shows the distribution of Australian
water
consumption
 by the year 2014.
Overall
, it is clear to the naked eye that the majority of
water
consumption
 is to agriculture businesses, with more than two-thirds of the total
water
consumption
 in the whole country.
However
 when it comes to the most H2O
consumption
 we can see on the top of the
chart
 is Perth in the first place, with about 330 kilolitre. 
On the other hand
, it is a surprise to see
such
 a massive city like Melbourne in the back with Canberra with
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 much difference between them.
Nevertheless
, there are
also
 some medium cities competing on
this
chart
.
For instance
, Adelaide, and Brisbane, both of them have a massive
water
consumption
 than average.
Submitted by sdam7843 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, water, consumption with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: