IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that technology has made our lives simpler and more convenient. Others argue that it has made us more isolated and dependent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology #lives
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There is an ongoing debate about whether
technology
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improved
Wrong verb form
improves
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 our
life
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 quality. Some
people
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 think
technology
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 makes our daily
life
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 to be more convenient,
while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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others argue that it isolates us.
This
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 essay agrees that
technology
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 causes our
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 to be more convenient. Technological development
allow
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allows
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 everyone
getting
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to get
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 benefits. New products make us be easier to approach what we need than our ancestors.
For example
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, the invention of freezers
allow
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allows
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people
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 being able to eat ice cream in
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the summers
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summers
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summer
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. Without radio, it will take
much
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a much
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 longer time for
people
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 to get news.
Additionally
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, new
technology
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also
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 decreases our living
cost
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costs
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. Costumers can directly order toys or clothes from
manufacturings
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manufacturers
by
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on
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 rather than through dealers which will save a lot of time and money.
However
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, other
people
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 believe that
technology
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 isolates our
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 and
make
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makes
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people
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to be
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apply
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more dependent on it.
This
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 is because more and more
people
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 would like to spend time on social or entertaining applications rather than communicate with others in person. In fact,
such
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 new applications are not criminals to take away
people
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's daily communication, they actually provide one more option for us to stay in touch with others.
Thank
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Thanks
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 to
these
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this
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softwares
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software
, we can contact our
frends
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friends
 in another city or even another country.
People
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 with social difficulties
also
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 get
much
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many
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 benefits from these
development
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developments
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, as they do not need to worry about discussing with other
people
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 face to face anymore. In conclusion,
technology
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make
Change the verb form
makes
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 our
life
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 to be easier to
obtain
Verb problem
meet
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 needs and reduce living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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.
Although
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 it seems to make
people
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's
life
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 to be more isolated, new technological development actually
bring
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brings
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 one more option for
people
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 to communicate
and
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apply
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which will be a great benefit for
people
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 with social difficulties.
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grammar
Work on improving sentence structures and grammar to ensure clarity. For example, "the invention of freezers allow people being able" should be "the invention of freezers allows people to be able."
vocabulary
Try to use more advanced vocabulary and varied sentence structures to enhance the depth of your arguments.
relevance
Ensure that all points made are relevant to the question. Make sure the examples used effectively support the points you are trying to communicate.
introduction
The introduction clearly states both views and presents the opinion of the writer, setting up a clear direction for the essay.
structure
The essay has a logical flow and is divided into clear paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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