Some people believe that technology has made our lives simpler and more convenient. Others argue that it has made us more isolated and dependent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether
technology
improved
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
our
life
quality. Some
people
think
technology
makes our daily
life
to be more convenient,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others argue that it isolates us.
This
essay agrees that
technology
causes our
life
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lives
show examples
to be more convenient. Technological development
allow
Change the verb form
allows
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everyone
getting
Change the verb form
to get
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benefits. New products make us be easier to approach what we need than our ancestors.
For example
, the invention of freezers
allow
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allows
show examples
people
being able to eat ice cream in
Correct article usage
the summers
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summers
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summer
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. Without radio, it will take
much
Add an article
a much
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longer time for
people
to get news.
Additionally
, new
technology
also
decreases our living
cost
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costs
show examples
. Costumers can directly order toys or clothes from
manufacturings
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
by
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on
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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rather than through dealers which will save a lot of time and money.
However
, other
people
believe that
technology
isolates our
life
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lives
show examples
and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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people
to be
Verb problem
apply
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more dependent on it.
This
is because more and more
people
would like to spend time on social or entertaining applications rather than communicate with others in person. In fact,
such
new applications are not criminals to take away
people
's daily communication, they actually provide one more option for us to stay in touch with others.
Thank
Correct subject-verb agreement
Thanks
show examples
to
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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softwares
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software
, we can contact our
frends
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friends
in another city or even another country.
People
with social difficulties
also
get
much
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many
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benefits from these
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
, as they do not need to worry about discussing with other
people
face to face anymore. In conclusion,
technology
make
Change the verb form
makes
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our
life
to be easier to
obtain
Verb problem
meet
show examples
needs and reduce living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.
Although
it seems to make
people
's
life
to be more isolated, new technological development actually
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
one more option for
people
to communicate
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which will be a great benefit for
people
with social difficulties.
Submitted by 2587729786 on

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grammar
Work on improving sentence structures and grammar to ensure clarity. For example, "the invention of freezers allow people being able" should be "the invention of freezers allows people to be able."
vocabulary
Try to use more advanced vocabulary and varied sentence structures to enhance the depth of your arguments.
relevance
Ensure that all points made are relevant to the question. Make sure the examples used effectively support the points you are trying to communicate.
introduction
The introduction clearly states both views and presents the opinion of the writer, setting up a clear direction for the essay.
structure
The essay has a logical flow and is divided into clear paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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