Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

There is an ongoing debate about whether
boys
and
girls
should be separated in different
schools
. Some
people
believe children will get more advantages from mixed
schools
,
while
others argue that
separate
Replace the word
separating
show examples
students
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
gender
is a wiser decision.
This
essay agrees that
boys
Change noun form
boys'
boy's
show examples
and
girls
Change noun form
girls'
girl's
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
will have more advantages. Children
attend
Correct pronoun usage
who attend
show examples
mixed
schools
will get more advantages than
in
Correct pronoun usage
those in
show examples
separate
schools
. The former provides more opportunities for young
people
to know the other
gender
. Our
socity
Correct your spelling
society
is constructed by both genders. Everyone needs to know how to stay with others, no matter who is male or female. They will go to work after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
will not separate males and females
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anywhere.
For instance
,
in addition
to
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
special places,
such
as
army
Add an article
the army
show examples
, the most regular
vancancies
Correct your spelling
vacancies
have no demand
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
gender
, which means men and women need to work together.
However
, some
people
think that we should separate
boys
and
girls
in different
schools
, because
this
is an
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
way to prevent children
to fall
Change preposition
from falling
show examples
in love
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
too young
age
Correct article usage
an age
show examples
. In fact,
such
method
Correct article usage
a method
show examples
cannot stop loving issues
happend
Correct your spelling
happening
in
schools
, between
boys
or between
girls
. The
developement
Correct your spelling
development
of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system allows
people
to spend more and more years to be educated. Teenagers being in love is a normal rather than shameful thing and we should use a more inclusive view to face
such
phenomenon. In conclusion, students will obtain more benefits
to study
Change preposition
from studying
show examples
in mixed
schools
.
Although
separate
schools
could stop teenagers
to fall
Change preposition
from falling
show examples
in love,
this
is not
a
Change the article
an
show examples
inclusive view,
whereas
Correct article usage
a mixed
show examples
mixed
Add a hyphen
mixed-gender
show examples
gender
environment could help young
people
better know how to cooperate with the other
gender
in their future workplaces.
Submitted by 2587729786 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed. Your stance should be clearly indicated from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph logically flows from one to the next, and that the ideas within paragraphs are clearly and coherently connected.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This would make your argument stronger and more convincing.
overall quality
Check for grammatical errors, and use a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
overall quality
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which are relevant to the discussion and summarize your stance well.
task achievement
You have presented both views and provided your opinion, which addresses the task requirement effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains logical points and attempts to explain why mixed schools are beneficial and why separate schools might be favored by some.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
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