The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities by youngest and oldest populations in the US in 2015.

The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities by youngest and  oldest populations in the US in 2015.
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The bar chart illustrates and compares the average
time
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spent during a day for 15-
19 years old
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19-year-old
teenagers and
eldly
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elderly
people
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over 75 in the United States in 2015. Watching TV took the largest proportion of
time
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for both groups. Seniors spent 4.5
hours
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on it,
while
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young
people
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spent 2
hours
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less but it
still
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was still
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nearly two and
half
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a half
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hours
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. For the rest of
activities
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the activities
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, the two groups
presents
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present
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significant differences. Playing games, socialising and sports
also
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took
relatively
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a relatively
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large part of teenagers'
time
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that are 1.1
hours
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, three
quaters
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quarters
and 0.6
hours
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respectively. As for the elderly group, they would rather
to
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apply
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do reading (1 hour), communicating (0.7 hour) and thinking (0.6 hour).
To sum up
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, both groups would like to put most
time
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into watching TV. Playing games, socialising and sports are the next three popular activities for young
people
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,
while
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reading, communicating, and thinking are more popular for old
people
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.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, people, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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