The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities by youngest and oldest populations in the US in 2015.

The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities by youngest and  oldest populations in the US in 2015.
The bar chart illustrates and compares the average
time
spent during a day for 15-
19 years old
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19-year-old
teenagers and
eldly
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elderly
people
over 75 in the United States in 2015. Watching TV took the largest proportion of
time
for both groups. Seniors spent 4.5
hours
on it,
while
young
people
spent 2
hours
less but it
still
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was still
show examples
nearly two and
half
Correct article usage
a half
show examples
hours
. For the rest of
activities
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the activities
show examples
, the two groups
presents
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present
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significant differences. Playing games, socialising and sports
also
took
relatively
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a relatively
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large part of teenagers'
time
that are 1.1
hours
, three
quaters
Correct your spelling
quarters
and 0.6
hours
respectively. As for the elderly group, they would rather
to
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apply
show examples
do reading (1 hour), communicating (0.7 hour) and thinking (0.6 hour).
To sum up
, both groups would like to put most
time
into watching TV. Playing games, socialising and sports are the next three popular activities for young
people
,
while
reading, communicating, and thinking are more popular for old
people
.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, people, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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