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Band 5.5

The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities by youngest and oldest populations in the US in 2015.

The chart below shows the average hours spent per day in leisure and sports activities by youngest and oldest populations in the US in 2015.
#hours #leisure #sports #activities #populations
The bar chart illustrates and compares the average
time
 spent during a day for 15-
19 years old
Correct your spelling
19-year-old
 teenagers and
eldly
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
 over 75 in the United States in 2015. Watching TV took the largest proportion of
time
 for both groups. Seniors spent 4.5
hours
 on it,
while
 young
people
 spent 2
hours
 less but it
still
Add a missing verb
was still
show examples
 nearly two and
half
Correct article usage
a half
show examples
hours
. For the rest of
activities
Correct article usage
the activities
show examples
, the two groups
presents
Change the verb form
present
show examples
 significant differences. Playing games, socialising and sports
also
 took
relatively
Add an article
a relatively
show examples
 large part of teenagers'
time
 that are 1.1
hours
, three
quaters
Correct your spelling
quarters
 and 0.6
hours
 respectively. As for the elderly group, they would rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
do reading (1 hour), communicating (0.7 hour) and thinking (0.6 hour).
To sum up
, both groups would like to put most
time
 into watching TV. Playing games, socialising and sports are the next three popular activities for young
people
,
while
 reading, communicating, and thinking are more popular for old
people
.
Submitted by 2587729786 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, people, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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