In many countries , the number of animals and plants is declining . Why do you think this is happening ? How can this issue be solved ?

#countries #animals #plants

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Nowadays , a lot of

animals

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and plants are becoming extinct

as a result

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of increasing population , occupying forests , climate change, building new high buildings and pollution of the

environment

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. There are many reasons why

animals

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and plants are declining. First of all , the population are increasing day by day affecting many

people

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. Pollution of the

environment

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influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

animals

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and flowers

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

therefore

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neglect

Correct subject-verb agreement

neglects

show examples

people

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. Not only new buildings are built in return for green zones but forests are

also

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occupied by the

government

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and

also

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government

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building new companies there .

Thus

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for

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this

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reason

animals

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and plants are declining . There are many solutions

for

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this

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reason.

First,

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many populations eat meat for sure

government

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encourages to eat less and be vegetarian.

For instance

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, the Chinese should eat less meat from

animals

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. If the Chinese eat less meat , many

animals

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may be alive .

Secondly

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, the

government

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should say that All

people

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must follow purity and teach following purity .If

people

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obey these rules , the

environment

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will be cleaner.

For example

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, it may be useful for many

people

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Lastly

Linking Words

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government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should think only of nature rather than money and be careful. In conclusion, I think

this

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is happening because of , the increasing population and

this

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could be solved by the

government

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encouraging for eat less and be vegetarian. Pollution of the

environment

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could be solved by the

government

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and they say that All

people

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must follow purity " and

also

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the

government

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should think that only nature rather than money .

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Sep 19 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a general structure with an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow of ideas needs improvement. Try to create clearer and more organized paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your main points are consistently supported with relevant and specific examples. For instance, instead of general statements like 'many people eat meat,' provide more concrete data or observations to support your point.

Task Achievement

You have identified key reasons for the decline of animals and plants and proposed some solutions. Yet, the solutions could be more detailed and realistic. For instance, explaining how the government can encourage vegetarianism with specific policies would make the argument stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a complete feel.

Task Achievement

You have addressed the task by identifying reasons for the decline and proposing some solutions, which covers the key points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
urbanization
deforestation
agricultural expansion
pollution control
greenhouse gas emissions
renewable energy
sustainable practices
overexploitation
invasive species
conservation
quarantine measures
eradication programs
public awareness campaigns
habitat destruction
climate change
natural habitats
species decline

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In many countries , the number of animals and plants is declining . Why do you think this is happening ? How can this issue be solved ?

Your opinion

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a mall community?

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or negative development

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to Job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of Job satisfaction for all workers?

The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?