In many countries , the number of animals and plants is declining . Why do you think this is happening ? How can this issue be solved ?

Nowadays , a lot of

animals

Use synonyms

and plants are becoming extinct

as a result

Linking Words

of increasing population , occupying forests , climate change, building new high buildings and pollution of the

environment

Use synonyms

. There are many reasons why

animals

Use synonyms

and plants are declining. First of all , the population are increasing day by day affecting many

people

Use synonyms

. Pollution of the

environment

Use synonyms

influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

and flowers

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

therefore

Linking Words

neglect

Correct subject-verb agreement

neglects

show examples

people

Use synonyms

. Not only new buildings are built in return for green zones but forests are

also

Linking Words

occupied by the

government

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

government

Use synonyms

building new companies there .

Thus

Linking Words

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason

animals

Use synonyms

and plants are declining . There are many solutions

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason.

First,

Linking Words

many populations eat meat for sure

government

Use synonyms

encourages to eat less and be vegetarian.

For instance

Linking Words

, the Chinese should eat less meat from

animals

Use synonyms

. If the Chinese eat less meat , many

animals

Use synonyms

may be alive .

Secondly

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should say that All

people

Use synonyms

must follow purity and teach following purity .If

people

Use synonyms

obey these rules , the

environment

Use synonyms

will be cleaner.

For example

Linking Words

, it may be useful for many

people

Use synonyms

Lastly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should think only of nature rather than money and be careful. In conclusion, I think

this

Linking Words

is happening because of , the increasing population and

this

Linking Words

could be solved by the

government

Use synonyms

encouraging for eat less and be vegetarian. Pollution of the

environment

Use synonyms

could be solved by the

government

Use synonyms

and they say that All

people

Use synonyms

must follow purity " and

also

Linking Words

the

government

Use synonyms

should think that only nature rather than money .

Sep 19, 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a general structure with an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow of ideas needs improvement. Try to create clearer and more organized paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your main points are consistently supported with relevant and specific examples. For instance, instead of general statements like 'many people eat meat,' provide more concrete data or observations to support your point.

Task Achievement

You have identified key reasons for the decline of animals and plants and proposed some solutions. Yet, the solutions could be more detailed and realistic. For instance, explaining how the government can encourage vegetarianism with specific policies would make the argument stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a complete feel.

Task Achievement

You have addressed the task by identifying reasons for the decline and proposing some solutions, which covers the key points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
urbanization
deforestation
agricultural expansion
pollution control
greenhouse gas emissions
renewable energy
sustainable practices
overexploitation
invasive species
conservation
quarantine measures
eradication programs
public awareness campaigns
habitat destruction
climate change
natural habitats
species decline

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