IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Many people argue that smoking should be banned due to its harmful effects on human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
smoking is one of the worst things
created
Verb problem
apply
show examples
ever
Body paragraph 1
smoking bad and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a slow die
Body paragraph 2
Linking Words
firstly-let's
Change noun form
First
show examples
 agree on that ,smoking
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 thing but why
its
Correct your spelling
is it
show examples
 allowed? because of the business and the economy of the country
Body paragraph 3
additionly
Correct your spelling
additionally
Body paragraph 4
the
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of smoking
banned
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is the health care
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the country
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 gonna be good and we will see a lot of
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
diffrencess
Correct your spelling
differences
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
also
Linking Words
 we will solve the
poulotion
Correct your spelling
population
pollution
proplem
Correct your spelling
problem
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people angry
Body paragraph 5
anythig
Correct your spelling
anything
 in our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 advantages and disadvantages even the bad things like smoking as we said
Body paragraph 6
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 you can
less
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 weight from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoking
also
Linking Words
 you can feel happy and glad
im
Correct your spelling
I'm
 not supporting you to
smoke
Replace the word
smoking
show examples
 just say some
Correct your spelling
benefits
bennifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of smoking
Body paragraph 7
to sum up
Linking Words
Conclusion
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
 we should
banned
Change the verb form
ban
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoking
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 the best choice for the future

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Develop a more structured introduction that clearly outlines the main points you will discuss.
task response
Provide specific examples or statistics to support your points. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with one main idea per paragraph. This will improve logical structure.
task response
Work on grammar and vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and accurately.
task response
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
task response
Your essay conveys a clear stance on the issue, which is important for task achievement.
task response
Your engagement with both sides of the argument, even briefly, shows an attempt to look at the issue from multiple perspectives.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmful effects
  • passive smoking
  • healthcare systems
  • smoking-related illnesses
  • moral responsibility
  • public health
  • smoking cessation programs
  • disease prevention
  • government intervention
  • addiction
  • tobacco industry
  • health awareness
  • legislation
  • regulations
  • personal choice
What to do next:
Look at other essays: