IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Others say countries should have their own law. Discuss both view and give your opinion .

#people #system #world #countries #law
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Law
Use synonyms
 is a foundation
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
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 worldwide.
Although
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 many people believe that a single
law
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system
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 brings many advantages to all
countries
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 around the world, others argue that each
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
 must have
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own constitutional practice.
This
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 essay will explain both views and give my personal opinion. On the one hand, a unified legal
system
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 may have a slight advantage to the societies.
However
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, it will not
suitable
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be suitable
show examples
 for many
countries
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 with their specialties. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
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, several nations have agreed to legalize LGBT marriage. But,
this
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law
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 will definitely
inapplicable
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be inapplicable
show examples
 to
muslim-majority
Change the capitalization
Muslim-majority
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countries
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due to
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 the mismatch between the country and religious
law
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. Another example, monarch
countries
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 have their own legal
system
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 to choose their leader based on patrilinear
line
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lines
show examples
. If
this
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 monarch
system
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 applies to current democratic
countries
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, there will be a mass protest
due to
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 the nepotism of
president's
Correct article usage
the president's
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 son
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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become
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becomes
show examples
 the next leader.
In contrast
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, giving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
freedom to every country to choose their own legal
system
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 brings more impact to the societies rather
that
Correct word choice
than
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 a single legal
system
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. Muslim
countries
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 like Maldives can apply
Islamic
Correct article usage
an Islamic
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 legal
system
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or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
Catholics
Replace the word
Catholic
show examples
countries
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 like
Vatican
Correct article usage
the Vatican
show examples
 can
also
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 have
their
Change the word
the
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
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 to use a
Catholics
Replace the word
Catholic
show examples
law
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 practice. Having a different
law
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 for every
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countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
wil
Correct your spelling
will
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
 for
a multicultural
Correct the article-noun agreement
multicultural countries
a multicultural country
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countries
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 as well. Indonesia, as a multicultural and multiethnic country,
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some special regions that
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to have their own
law
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, which is Aceh for the Islamic
law
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, and Yogyakarta for their monarch sultanate legal
system
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. Giving
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 freedom to choose their own
law
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 will make it easier for Indonesia to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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 their cultural diversity.
To sum up
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,
while
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 many people think that a unified
law
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sistem
Correct your spelling
system
 across the world will bring more valuable impact, I firmly believe that letting each
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
determine
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own respective
law
Use synonyms
 will bring more massive and significant advantages to people.
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points with additional examples or explanations to make your arguments even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to make your essay easier to read and follow.
structure
Your essay structure is clear, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your views which strengthen your arguments.
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