Some people soy thol industrial growth is necessory to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is causing environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion

A notable
film
from
this
selection is “Embrace of the Serpent” since it presents a positive representation of the less educated Indigenous children living in the Amazon forest region. The
film
delves into the intersection of Indigenous knowledge and Western knowledge, juxtaposing the two worlds in a cultural conflict. I may as well consider investigating the way in which it views the issues of
colonization
and environmentalism, through the lens of Indigenous
people
. There are two events
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
film
that are set 40 years apart and in both, the sage Karamakate, now
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bilingual, looks after
westerners
Capitalize word
Westerners
show examples
as they traverse the Amazon. Most of the Indigenous
characters
are multi-dimensional
instead
of mere supporting cast clichés. Karamakate
for example
is a Pygmy warrior, who
also
is wise, dealing with the grief of losing his kin after colonizers settled their lands. The
film
gives
depiction
Add an article
a depiction
show examples
of the ways of life of the Indigenous
people
more positively
as
Correct word choice
than
show examples
one would expect, but some parts I believe are too flat or dramatized for some reasons. Indigenous
characters
are no longer portrayed in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
media as a history, filled with archetypes, or as victims of
colonization
but
represented
Add a missing verb
are represented
show examples
as active and important
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of the storyline incorporating
characters
with skills. Karamakate’s character is a direct criticism of
“noble
Correct article usage
the “noble
show examples
savage” stereotype as his character exhibits both spirituality and emotional development. Yet still, the
film
will portray Indigenous cultures as peaceful and in balance with nature, which is the stereotypical representation of Indigenous
people
that
people
from Western
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
tend to have. Both the
colonization
and the exploitation of rubber industries are well treated in the
film
,
although
certain aspects
such
as cultural practices and the routines of the indigenous
characters
are
over simplified
Correct your spelling
oversimplified
show examples
or not &ought out in depth.
For instance
, the movie mentions Indigenous religions and cultures, but some elements of them appear to be more like things rather than lifestyles to the foreign audience. At the same time, the documentary
makes
Verb problem
places
show examples
a lot of stress on the connection of the native guide with the
audiences
Fix the agreement mistake
audience
show examples
, which may overshadow other factors
such
as social structure or resistance of the society. Watching “Embrace of the Serpent” has increased my comprehension of how the
colonization
process can have a multifaceted effect on
cultures
Correct article usage
the cultures
show examples
of Indigenous populations in the Amazon basin. The movie emphasizes the eradication of lives and the information means of the indigenous
people
, which I have not given much thought
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
before. But at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
it exposed the fact that it’s all too easy to fall into the stereotypes that films do about the
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
Indian
people
, justifying why these images have to be critiqued and not embraced in order to
further
such
stereotypes.
Submitted by ikovalchuk3107 on

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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the question. While the essay successfully discusses the film 'Embrace of the Serpent,' it strays from the original prompt regarding industrial growth, poverty, and environmental problems. Stick to the topic given in the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining clear topic sentences for paragraphs and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. The structure can be improved by clearly separating the analysis of the film from the overall thematic discussion.
task response
The essay provides a thorough analysis of the film and showcases an in-depth understanding of its themes and representation of Indigenous people.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally well-organized within paragraphs, and the analysis includes specific examples from the film to support points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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