IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart above shows details about the percentage of the human population in four Asian Countries. Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia, that are living in main cities from 1970 to 2020. with a guess for 2030 and 2040.

The chart above shows details about the percentage of the human population in four Asian Countries. Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia, that are living in main cities from 1970 to 2020. with a guess for 2030 and 2040.
#percentage #population #four #asian #countries #philippines #malaysia #thailand #indonesia #cities #guess
The chart above shows details about the percentage of the human
population
 in four Asian
Countries
. Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia, that are living in main
cities
 from 1970 to 2020. with a guess for 2030 and 2040. It is clear from the data shown in the graph that all four
asian
Change the capitalization
Asian
show examples
countries
population
 living in
cities
 from 1970 to 2040 has increased. The highest increased
population
 from 1970 to 2040 living in
cities
 from all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
four Asia
countries
 is Indonesia and Malaysia. These two
countries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 similarities with no decreased
population
 throughout the years. Its
population
 that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 living in
cities
 has significantly increased from 1970 to 2040,
while
Philipines
Correct article usage
the Philipines
show examples
 and Thailand
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 some decreased
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
throughout
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 2040. Indonesia
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started its
population
 in 1970
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 12% and increased
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 60% in 2040, Malaysia in 1970 has 30% and had a significant
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 to 80% in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2040.
Thailand
Change noun form
Thailand's
show examples
population
 in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1970 is about 18% and in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2040 it has reached around 48% of its
population
 living in
cities
,
last
 but not least Philipines from 32% to 48% of its
population
 living in
cities
Submitted by riani.the2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, countries, cities with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: