It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

I fully agree that it is important for children to learn the difference between
right
and wrong at an early age.
Punishment
is
also
necessary to help them learn
this
distinction. When I was a kid, I was quite a liar, I lied so much that I started believing in my own lies. Fortunately, I have my
parents
to teach me the difference between
right
and wrong. Every time I lied, my
parents
would make me watch a show where the liar’s nose grew longer as they
lie
Correct your spelling
lied
show examples
, they
also
educated me on the reasons why I shouldn’t lie. It was a long and steady process, but I stopped lying. Now that I’ve grown up, I
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
an honest person. It’s important to teach them the difference between
right
and wrong at an early age so they grow up knowing what is wrong and what is
right
. A habit at an early age usually sticks with them as they grow up.
Punishment
is
also
necessary so that they don’t repeat their mistake and become a better person.
Although
punishment
is necessary, I don’t agree with physical
punishment
. Physical
punishment
might work on some children, but most of them
ended
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
up with childhood trauma, which is something you don’t want your
kids
to have.
Parents
should at most make their
kids
stay
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
their room and think of their
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
, but I suggest
parents
teach their
kids
why what they did was wrong without excessively shouting at their
kids
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, for higher effectiveness, create clear and distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This will enhance the structure and readability.
task achievement
You have relevant and specific examples which strengthen your arguments. Ensure that your examples are connected to your main points clearly to avoid any ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay flows logically, try to use more varied cohesive devices to link your sentences and paragraphs more effectively. This will make your essay easier to follow and understand.
coherence cohesion
Including a firmer conclusion will help to wrap up your essay well, summarizing your main points and giving a final perspective on the topic. This also adds to the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Your use of personal examples is quite effective in demonstrating your points. It makes your essay more relatable and engaging.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, and you successfully discuss both aspects of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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