Historical objects should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, tremendous
artefacts
have been shown at museums in other
countries
. Personally, I disagree
to bring
Change preposition
with bringing
show examples
it back, and
Correct article usage
the supports
show examples
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
will illustrated in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, many historical
objects
must be prevented from
brakedown
Correct your spelling
breakdown
. Several
artsfacts
Correct your spelling
artefacts
are
builded
Correct your spelling
built
show examples
at a long-lasting time and several categories need
highly
Fix the infinitive
to highly
show examples
be careful
such
as pottery,
textile
Fix the agreement mistake
textiles
show examples
, and others. When they need to
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bring it back to their origin that have a high risk
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
fagile
Correct your spelling
fragile
which lead to
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
vulues
Correct your spelling
values
value
; even both
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
will have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
plan to prevent and best-packing.
For instance
, many ancient
objects
of Eygip are
brakedown
Correct your spelling
broken down
when they try to
brought
Change the verb
bring
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
back from other
countries
.
Therefore
, the best option
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
historical
objects
perhaps
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need to
preserve
Wrong verb form
be preserved
show examples
in other
countries
more than
origin
Correct article usage
the origin
show examples
regional
Replace the word
region
show examples
. in
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
to
preseve
Correct your spelling
preserve
artefacts
, It will solve the risk of
conflic
Correct your spelling
conflict
and encourage
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
between
countries
. Tremendous
artefacts
had
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
brought to other
countries
for a long time and it is unable to
specify
Wrong verb form
be specified
show examples
who was the
owner-leading
Correct your spelling
leading
show examples
to
conflic
Correct your spelling
conflict
between
courntries
Correct your spelling
countries
if they want to bring it.
However
, If both
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
commit to preventing and sharing their identity together, it will improve their relationship and enhance cooperation in the other parts.
For instance
, both regions can cooperate in the part of businesses of travel to encourage their citizens which travel in each
regions
Change to a singular noun
region
show examples
and explore
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
between them.
As a result
, it can
be avoid
Change the verb form
avoid
show examples
some
conflic
Correct your spelling
conflict
conflicts
and improve their
ralationship
Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
. As I mentioned, there are tremendous boons of not bringing
artefacts
to
origin
Correct article usage
the origin
show examples
country. Especially,
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
show examples
fagile
Correct your spelling
fragile
of historical
objects
and
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
relationships between
countries
.
Submitted by jeebjib14 on

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task response
Your introduction is clear, but it could be more engaging. Providing a succinct thesis statement will make your stance clearer from the beginning.
task response
Make sure to clarify and elaborate on your main points. Some ideas are started but not fully developed, which can make it hard for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical connections between your ideas. Using linking words and phrases more effectively can enhance the cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on your conclusion to summarize your main points more succinctly and reinforce your argument. This will leave a lasting impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Small errors can distract the reader and affect your score.
task response
You have a clear standpoint on the issue, which is essential for a good task response.
task response
You have attempted to provide examples to support your argument, which is a positive aspect.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows an understanding of the importance of preserving historical artefacts and fostering international relationships.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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