Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

According to
some,violin,piano and things related to
music
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bring
individuals
' mindsets and remove any barrier between Adults,younger and children with delightful memories,
therefore
,
therefore
it
also
pulls out the religious differences and rolls in with each other custom activities.I firmly disagree with the statement, that
people
nowadays prefer to listen to
music
when they feel lonely or else if
people
are depressed about studying,office work and household responsibilities.
To begin
with, commencing with the most prominent reason listening to
music
in today's era has a different meaning and perspective.
Individuals
used to listen to songs and
music
to connect with each other because of
this
they had encouragement,trust and good relations with each and everyone.
However
, owing to the advanced world humans have forgotten relations with each other and are busy with accelerated responsibilities.
For instance
,
music
has been a moral and emotional support for
individuals
helping them out in lonely circumstances,
therefore
pushing them to hustle for their desirable ambitions.Thanks to today's musicians, they drop their
music
regardless for younger human beings
people
to heal themselves from unpleasant spots. Another reason why I disagree with the given statement
music
nowadays is just a way to earn money and sponsor unlawful things,
such
as betting apps.Meanwhile, charging huge amounts for live concerts, at the same time making barriers
religion
Change preposition
to religion
show examples
.
Although
no human has spoken against it,
This
shows how
people
are influenced by musicians. In conclusion, there is no doubt enormous
individuals
have generated a fellowship with numerous
people
in their society.Indeed, now it has a totally different approach, few of them listen to
music
to joy themselves and others to take revenge on social media.
Submitted by tushalk329 on

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introduction conclusion present
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position. Make sure the main argument is clear and concise.
logical structure
Organize your essay logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea. Use linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
supported main points
Extend your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples to support your argument.
complete response
Focus on answering the question more directly. Make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas. Ensure your arguments are comprehensive and logically developed.
complete response
The essay attempts to address a complex topic and provides multiple points of view.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have touched upon the emotional aspect and the contemporary view of music, which shows depth in thinking.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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