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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the amount of financial aid that four nations received and how the money was spent in 1974 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the amount of financial aid that four nations received and how the money was spent in 1974 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The chart illustrates the amount of monetary aid that China, Indonesia, Thailand and South Africa received and how it was spent in
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
four
 years period of time from 1974 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of money that was spent
for
Change preposition
on
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 medicine and finance was slightly decreased,
Add an article
the expense
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expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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for
Change preposition
of
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 catering
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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sharply declined. In 1974, most of
financial
Add an article
the financial
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 aid was
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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for
Change preposition
on
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 medicine
which is
Verb problem
,
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 80 million
while
Linking Words
 70 million
as
Correct your spelling
was
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 spent on catering and finance respectively

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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