IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
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In contemporary society,
cars
 powered by fossil fuels are prevalent in many nations
due to
 the wide range of available vehicle options.
Nonetheless
, it is undeniable that
such
 vehicles have a significant detrimental effect on the
environment
.
Therefore
, I strongly believe that the latest technology should be adopted
instead
 of conventional combustion engine transports, since electric
cars
 are more eco-friendly and contribute to a reduction in
noise
 pollution. To commence, electric
cars
 are known for their minimal emissions, in stark contrast to conventional combustion engine
cars
 that rely on fossil fuels, which emit substantial amounts of carbon monoxide into the atmosphere. Research indicates that,
for example
, electric
cars
 emit 0 grams of carbon monoxide,
thus
 playing a pivotal role in the preservation of the
environment
.
This
 environmentally conscious aspect serves as a compelling reason to discontinue the use of traditional
cars
.
In addition
 to that, electric transports operate very quietly
due to
 their battery-powered combustion, resulting in a significant reduction in
noise
 pollution.
For instance
, individuals living in close proximity to the roads often endure high levels of
noise
 from conventional
cars
 during rush hours.
In contrast
, the use of electric
cars
 allows for a tranquil and peaceful
environment
, contributing to an enhanced quality of life for both drivers and nearby residents. Ultimately, replacing traditional
cars
 with electric
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 is undeniably the optimal choice for future generations, as it offers huge advantages
such
 as the preservation of the
environment
 and the reduction of
noise
 pollution.
This
 transition represents a crucial step towards a sustainable and harmonious coexistence with the
environment
.
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from including a few more detailed and varied examples to further substantiate your points and illustrate broader implications. Providing specific data or citing more studies can make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure an even flow of ideas within and between paragraphs to promote a smoother reading experience. Transition phrases and clearer connections can make your arguments even stronger.
task achievement
You presented a clear stance and fully addressed the task by providing relevant arguments and examples, which significantly adds to the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay included a definitive introduction and a concise conclusion that summarized the key points effectively. This structure made your argument clear and accessible.
coherence cohesion
You used appropriate vocabulary and sentence structures to convey your ideas clearly. The variety in your syntax and word choice improved the overall readability of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
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