Air travel causes environmental pollution, so many people believe that there should be an increase in the price of air tickets in order to reduce air traffic. Do you agree or disagree?

Whilst the advantages of
air
travel
were visible, there were
also
disadvantages that arose from
this
mode of transportation, specifically,
air
pollution
. It is believed by some people that increasing
fare
Fix the agreement mistake
fares
show examples
for
air
travel
would
reduced
Change the verb form
reduce
show examples
the
pollution
to the environment. It is disagreed that an increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
of
air
tickets would give solutions to the problem as travelling
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
air
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
impact on the economic state of the world.
Firstly
,
air
travel
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
the fastest way to go to places in a short period of time.The people can go to different places away from home without travelling too long and commodities were be delivered on time.
For example
, during the covid- 19 in 2020, there were no
vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
show examples
available in the market for us,
we
Correct word choice
so we
show examples
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
to buy from
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
the vaccine needed to cure the disease. It will take time to reach our country if it is not delivered through
air
travel
.
Secondly
, it is already proven that
air
travel
has
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
impact on the economic state.
For instance
, the taxes
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
show examples
from an
air
travel
company would benefit the economy and can be used for other improvements of the government.
In addition
to that, it is unsure that the increase in
air
tickets would hinder
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
to
Change preposition
from travelling
show examples
travel
as travelling is very essential nowadays. In conclusion, it is disagreed that
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
air
tickets will be imposed to reduce
air
pollution
, but, the authority handling
this
can do some solutions regarding the problem of
pollution
.
Submitted by rodadoctor2 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on varying your sentence structures and using more sophisticated language to achieve greater clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and maintain a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother flow and stronger connections between your ideas.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion and stayed consistent with it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your arguments well.
task achievement
The examples you provided, such as during COVID-19, were relevant to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental pollution
  • deterrent
  • aviation technologies
  • disproportionately affect
  • global carbon tax
  • alternative solutions
  • tourism-dependent economies
  • cleaner fuels
  • efficient flight paths
  • carbon emissions
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