People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days,
people
work hard to purchase more new products, which has generally made our lives more comfortable. However
, this
is a pity that our traditional values
and customs are getting lost. I personally agree with this
viewpoint because today
people
are more materialistic in nature than the
past, and they prefer wealth over traditional Change preposition
in the
values
.
Today
, people
want to buy more new things
because people
are materialistic. They want to show their materialistic wealth to others
,
and consider them as a symbol of status. Remove the comma
apply
This
is because there is a common trend in society
that those people
who are wealthy are more likely to get respect
of Add an article
the respect
others
. Therefore
, people
think that the more wealth they will have, the more respect they will recieve
from Correct your spelling
receive
others
. For example
, today
people
tend to purchase new luxurious car
, and they believe that if Fix the agreement mistake
cars
thay
have Correct your spelling
they
it
, they will be respected by Correct pronoun usage
one
others
in society
.
Moreover
, people
at present, no longer value traditional values
, customs and norms. People
believe that these values
are old school
Add a hyphen
old-school
things
, and are not applicable in current society
. People
do not feel the necessity of teaching them to their children. Therefore
, the old and traditional values
and norms are increasingly disappearing from society
, and the young generation is no longer practising them. For example
, today
, people
do not generally greet other passengers in
public transport, which they used to do in the past.
In conclusion, I agree that Change preposition
on
today
people
prefer materialistic things
, therefore
, they tend to buy new things
. They do no
value traditional Correct your spelling
not
values
because they believe that they are old things
.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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accuracy
Take care with typos and spelling errors, such as 'recieve' (receive) and 'thay' (they). Proofreading will help to catch these minor mistakes.
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The introduction clearly states your position, which is maintained throughout the essay.
task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite