IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some schools are very strict about their school uniform an apoearance of their pupils, while other schools have very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children having school uniform?

#schools #school #uniform #apoearance #pupils #dress #code #children
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Wearing
uniform
Add an article
a uniform
show examples
dress
 is an obligation in some schools.
While
 there are some drawbacks associated with using similar
dress
, I believe the main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential advantage of
uniform
dress
 may be feeling sham in poor
students
. The pupils
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 cannot afford specific clothes are likely to be
disapointed
Correct your spelling
disappointed
. They will suffer from differences and lose their enthusiasm to study. Not having access to
uniform
dress
 can lead to
discremination
Correct your spelling
discrimination
.
For example
, teachers may
considere
Correct your spelling
consider
considered
 poor
students
 as neat people.
Such
 misunderstanding imposes heavy pressure on
students
 who are not rich. Another perceived negative is that some
afluent
Correct your spelling
affluent
students
 may
ridicul
Correct your spelling
ridicule
 poor
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. There are people who
judg
Correct your spelling
judge
 others
according to
 their appearances.
Therefore
, it is probable that poor pupils
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 considered as stupid or untalented. In
such
 cases,
students
 will lose their self-confidence and they may quit school.
This
 can have detrimental effects on society because some people are
deorived
Correct your spelling
deprived
deceived
 of study. On the
othere
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, a primary
advantages
Correct the article-noun agreement
advantage
show examples
 of having
dress
Correct article usage
a dress
show examples
 code is that children learn to be neat and organized. Wearing similar
dress
 shows equality and nobody is judged by their covers. In
such
 cases,
students
 have
feeling
Add an article
a feeling
the feeling
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unity which has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 influence on
team works
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
. Having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
harmony in a class leads to a pleasing
sens
Correct your spelling
sense
show examples
 and the class will be more efficient. A
further
 benefit is that
students
 of various schools and classes can be distinguished easily.
For instance
, when authorities want to take
students
 out of a school, children can be easily distinguished from pupils of other schools. Older individuals can distinguish younger
students
 and help them. On balance, it is true that wearing
uniform
 clothes would seem
disadvantagious
Correct your spelling
disadvantageous
 under
cerain
Correct your spelling
certain
 circumstances,
Howmever
Correct your spelling
However
, in my view, its positive effects override the disadvantages.
Submitted by fa.soleiman on

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task achievement
While the essay covers the main points, some of the arguments lack depth and precision. Expand on your points with more specific examples or data to strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos. Such mistakes can distract the reader from your main points. Proofread your work to correct issues like 'disapointed' instead of 'disappointed' and 'deorived' instead of 'deprived'.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical structure and flow between ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect different sections smoothly.
task achievement
You’ve introduced the topic clearly and provided a balanced view, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms. This enhances the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is effective and summarizes your viewpoint well, reinforcing the overall argument of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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