The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line chart shows how many individuals participated in various events at a specific place in Melbourne, Australia, from 2000 to 2020.

It is clear that

engaging in the film club was by far the most popular activity, with the highest number of attendees over a period of 20 years. Table tennis saw the most significant increase in participation during the same period. In 2000, about 65 people joined the film community at one social hub in Melbourne, making it the most popular activity.

This

was followed by martial arts, the second most favoured, with approximately 36 people taking part. The numbers of members for amateur dramatics and table tennis were lower, standing at about 27 and 17 respectively. Notably, no one participated in musical performances until 2005, when people started getting involved.

Furthermore

, both table tennis and musical performances increased in numbers. Of the two, the number of individuals involved in the former experienced the most notable growth, rising from about 65 in 2000 to roughly 52 by 2020, surpassing martial arts as the second most favoured event. The figures for the film club and martial arts,

on the other hand

, remained relatively stable, fluctuating around 65 and 35 separately.

Finally

, in terms of amateur dramatics, after rising slightly by 2005, it saw a continuous decline in participation, dropping from approximately 40 in 2005 to about 8 in 2020.

Submitted by 645119931 on Sat Sep 21 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

230 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participation rates
trends
significant increases/decreases
stable numbers
fluctuations
overall participation
comparison
activities
social centre
Melbourne
participants
highlight
report
graph illustrates/demonstrates
20-year period
key features
main features
statistical data
variations

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The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

These days, more people are going to university than in the past. They start work later in life and with higher qualifications. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Many people use distance-learning program to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Gender imbalance in some occupations is evident. To what extent do you think that it is acceptable?