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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
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The graph here presented describes, during the
year
Use synonyms
, the medium temperature registered every month in the cities of
London
Use synonyms
, New
York
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 and
Sydney
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. The table,
instead
Linking Words
, indicates the sum of all the
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunshine in one
year
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 in the same cities. In the graph, at first sight, it is clearly shown that
while
Linking Words
 in
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
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, the temperature’s curves have a similar escalation, with an increase from
January
Use synonyms
 to July and a decrease from July to December, in
Sydney
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 it is the exact opposite. It is interesting how the temperatures in New
York
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, compared to the ones in the other two cities, reach both the highest and lowest peaks: it’s registered an average of 30
degrees
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 in July and 5
degrees
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 in
January
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 and December.
London
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 follows a similar pattern to the one of the Big Apple
,
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apply
show examples
 but with less cold
January
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, February and December. **
Although
Linking Words
**, from April to November, the temperatures in
London
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 do not reach the ones in New
York
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, but still increase until a peak in July of 25
degrees
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.
Sydney
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instead
Linking Words
, starts its
year
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 with a hot
January
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, but
then
Linking Words
 the temperatures start to decrease until a below in July of 15
degrees
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. It is visible how even the lowest temperature registered in
Sydney
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 of 15
degrees
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 is far from the cold 5 and 10
degrees
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 in
London
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 and New
York
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. Regarding the total
hours
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 of sunshine in a
year
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, New
York
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 shows the highest average, with the amount of 2,535
hours
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, **immediately** followed by
Sydney
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 with a
similarly
Linking Words
 high number.
That is
Linking Words
 not the case for
London
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, the British capital only registered 1,180
hours
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 where the sun shined.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, london, york, sydney, hours, january, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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