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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?

#world #employees #lack #skill #communication #teams #effects #skills
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Nowadays, it is required for workers to be able to communicate properly and have teamwork
skills
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 in every
occupassion
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occupation
occasion
.
However
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, some are unskilled because they were raised in small
immidiate
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immediate
 families and the education system was unable to teach them.
This
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 might lead them to be unsuccessful in their careers and even to get severe mental disorders.
To begin
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 with, growing up in small families can make toddlers anti-social. Families are getting smaller in the modern world. To be specific, they aren'
t
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 close with aunts, uncles,
cousins
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or cousins
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besides
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of
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apply
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having just one child.
As a result
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, children weren'
t
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 been
teached
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reached
 to communicate with people from outside of their comfort zone ,which is their parents,
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at in
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in
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an
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 early
ages
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age
show examples
.
In addition
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, authorities in
education
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the education
show examples
 system
also
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 undervalue the
skills
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 of communication. When they grow up and go to school, even teachers and mentors don'
t
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 encourage students to make friends or
work
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 in small groups for class projects as they are expected to merely focus on their academic
succession
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success
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.
For example
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, parents in Iran ask schools to
seperate
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separate
 their children's
class
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classes
show examples
 from their friends in order to push them toward focusing on their academic subjects.
As a result
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, they can'
t
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 gain these
skills
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 from schools so there are many dramas in
workplace
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the workplace
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 in Iran.
Moreover
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, these introverted employees mostly get mental illnesses
such
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 as anxiety and depression.
Pyschologists
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Psychologists
 believe by being lonely and isolated at
work
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 for
long
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a long
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 period of time, human beings might get mentally sick as they
work
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 approximately one-third of their
life-time
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lifetime
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.
Consequently
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, if a person is not having coworker friends, they might get lonely and sick in the future.
In addition
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, if they don'
t
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 build
network
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a network
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, which is
neccessary
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necessary
 in every profession, they can'
t
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 grow in their career. Obviously, if you don'
t
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 have
close
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a close
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 relationship with your employer, they won'
t
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 give you
raise
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a raise
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 and might even underestimate your value
for
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to
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firm
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the firm
a firm
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.
Moreover
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, you can'
t
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 learn new job-related
skills
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 from your coworkers and over
the
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apply
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time you will
be expired
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expire
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 with old
skills
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 in
job
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the job
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 market.
For instance
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, to be promoted in
google
Capitalize word
Google
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, employees should be recommended by their co-workers and manager
simultaneuosly
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simultaneously
.
Consequently
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, you have to be
benefical
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beneficial
 and friendly so that you have a good impression on other people. In conclusion, employees who are not skillful in communicating with people and working with them on the same project have fewer
successing
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successful
 opportunities at
work
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.
This
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 disability is because their parents and teachers didn'
t
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mentored
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mentor
show examples
 them to learn these
skills
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 in early childhood. If they don'
t
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 overcome
this
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 situation, they will be depressed and anxious and can not succeed in their career.
Submitted by golnaz.zv on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea that is fully developed. Some points lack depth and could benefit from further elaboration.
coherence cohesion
Work on transition words and phrases to better connect your ideas and ensure smoother flow. This will improve the coherence of your essay.
general
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and vocabulary usage to enhance clarity and precision.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question by identifying main causes and effects of the lack of soft skills.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support your arguments.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Soft Skills: Attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.
  • Communication: The imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium.
  • Teamwork: The combined action of a group, especially when effective and efficient.
  • Remote Communication: Communication that occurs when parties are not physically present, often through digital means.
  • Overemphasis: Excessive emphasis on a particular aspect.
  • Individualistic Culture: A social theory favoring freedom of action for individuals over collective or state control.
  • Trickle-Down Effect: The cumulative effect that smaller or marginal changes can have when initiated at higher levels.
  • Competitive Work Environment: A work setting where employees are constantly striving against one another to achieve success.
  • Specialized Job Roles: Positions that require expertise in a narrow field or specific set of skills.
  • Face-to-Face Interactions: Direct, in-person communication between individuals.
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