Some people think that there are benefits in going to private secondary schools. Others feel that private schools can have negative effects on the society. Discuss both the view and give your opinion?

Educating a child is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
first priority of parents.few individuals believe that it is beneficial for children to go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
private
school
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
think that it has
adverse
Add an article
an adverse
show examples
effect
on our community.As far as
I m
Correct your spelling
I'm
concerned, I strongly agree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
that private
school
has an adverse
effect
on our
society
.In
this
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
, I will discuss both points of view with relevant examples. On the one hand, few
people
believe that going to private
schools
is very efficacious because they provide up-to-date technologies like modern computer labs,beside from
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
students can adapt to the requirements of the digital world
while
also
developing analytical skills and critical thinking.
secondly
, it provides a small class size that provides a better understanding of coursework. Students can explore more ideas about the subject.To illustrate
this
, research from London College showed that graduates from the private
school
earn 17% more than workers from the same homage.
therefore
private
schools
provide a better understanding of their coursework.
On the other hand
, other
people
believe that private
school
has a fatalistic
effect
on our
society
because of financial discrimination in our
society
.It becomes more difficult for many
people
to approach private
schools
.
Additionally
, many parents of low income cannot afford the high fees of private
schools
which lowers their
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them hopeless that's why private
schools
have a negative
effect
on our
society
.
For example
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one study
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has shown that 80% of the population in the world earns
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
daily wages
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes it difficult to fulfill their basic need.
Therefore
private
school
has a dismissive
effect
on our
society
.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
for some
people
private
schools
are beneficial for our
society
while
others think the opposite .
i m
Verb problem
I
show examples
strongly agree that private
schools
are compulsive for our better future .
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on your introduction to better frame the discussion and make your thesis statement clearer.
task achievement
Make sure to address both views more evenly and ensure your opinion is clearly emphasized to fulfill the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more transitional phrases and varied sentence structures to improve logical flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples to support your points, such as the study from London College.
coherence cohesion
Clear division of ideas into separate paragraphs, which helps clarify your arguments.
task achievement
Attempts to provide a balanced view by discussing both perspectives of the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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