IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest #information #features #comparisons
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The charts illustrate the
arrested
Replace the word
arrest
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 rate among two genders,
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
, in the five years ending 1994 and the latest causes for
jailed
Replace the word
jail
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that most of
Use synonyms
prisoners
Add an article
the prisoners
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 in
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
 years ending 1994
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 mostly males, and the main reason to be arrested for both sexes
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 public drinking.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the pie chart showed that males and females have a significant difference in the number of custodial sentences in five years ending 1994. There was 32% of males got jailed and the rest of the percentage was freed, which was 68%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, it was only 9% of females who got arrested and there was 91% of free females. Moving to the bar chart, most of the
prisoners
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 convicted
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 drinking in a public space, amounting to around 31% and 37% for
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, around 25% of
men
Use synonyms
prisoners
Use synonyms
 are objected to
drink
Change the verb form
drinking
show examples
while
Linking Words
 driving and nearly 20% of
women
Use synonyms
prisoners
Use synonyms
 punished because of
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
assault and other reasons.
Then
Linking Words
, the arrested
men
Use synonyms
 have similar percentages to approximately 15% by doing breach of order, assault, theft, and other reasons. Meanwhile,
women
Use synonyms
 who breach
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
order
Fix the agreement mistake
orders
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 and
stealing
Replace the word
steal
show examples
 are about 13%. Both of the genders who do not have
answer
Fix the agreement mistake
answers
show examples
 have the least share, accounting for below 10% of all the reasons.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, prisoners with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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